The Girl I Knew
by MantyMouse
Summary: Hermione discovers some unforgetable truths, and the difference between what she thought love was and a whole new confusing world that is nothing like what she expected of love! A kiss can change a lifetime...
1. Hermione and Ron

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own any characters, names, settings, places, spells or parts therein of this story. I make no profit, i only write for the enjoyment of myself and others._

**Blurb: **_Falling in love was never going to be easy...but for Hermione it just got harder. Her world is thrown upsidedown with the entrance of a mystery man who tricks her into something she thinks she'll always regret. She thought she 'loved' Ron, but really...the journey to who she might one day love, has only just begun._

**Author's Note: **_Hope you like it! If you would like me to continue **please review **_:)

"He isn't here!" Parvati giggled in Hermione's ear as the whole group shuffled to their right to avoid a rather violent dance that was taking place next to them. The great hall was thumping with music for the one official night a year where the students could organise their party their way. All the teachers had gone as far out of the way as possible accompanied by a handy house-elf, a mug of cocoa, or in some cases a glass of something stronger and the evenings marking. Hermione frowned,

"Who?" She looked around her but she wasn't looking for Paravti's mystery man, she was looking for Ron.

"Draco Malfoy!" Parvati lapsed into hysterics and Hermione giggled too. She wasn't shocked- most of the upper year Slytherins resolutely refused to join in these kind of celebrations.

"Oh so you're telling me," Hermione's words were louder than usual, and drunker than usual. "That even Lavender's _begging _couldn't bring the reclusive Mr Gorgeous out of hiding." She nudged Lavender and the girls pulled her into the centre of their circle, teasing her and tugging her hair.

"I wasn't begging." She protested with a blush,

"No, she's right." Ginny's face was mock serious as she pretended to take Lavender's side, "I don't remember the definition of begging having anything about cleavage in it." The girls laughed loudly and Lavender joined in, unable to make her point heard anyway. The music switched and simultaneously became even louder. The girls moved along with it, having given up on chatter where they couldn't be heard.

Hermione sensed Ron before she saw or felt him. He moved behind her, one hand just barely on her waste. He leant his head by the back of hers and gently blew her hair a little out of the way, Hermione trying to lean back without being too obvious but well aware that her skin had just changed to crimson.

"Meet me by the lake." He whispered and then moved along through the crowd. All the girls who had been vainly pretending to mind their own business set about raucous laughter again, jostling Hermione.

"Lover man."

"Ooh check out you two, coming out all of a sudden."

"Stop!" Hermione laughed, pushing her drink into Padma's empty hand and trying to leave, although she was not walking entirely straight.

"He wants you Hermione, he wants you bad." Cho started licking her lips and raising her eyebrows, the girls joining in with some obscene gestures. She made sshh-ing motions with her hands as she staggered out.

"Be safe!" Someone yelled between hiccups of giggles.

Hermione was insanely happy as she walked through the entrance hall heading quickly for the main doors. She wasn't sure how but somehow in the last few weeks her clumsy, annoying, infuriating best friend for years had managed to clumsily pushed his way into her heart. It was absolutely plain to everyone that she was besotted, every morning she woke up and couldn't believe it, she'd have to shake herself and think _Ron Weasley? Am I serious? _Everyone saw it but him, apparently until now, and she was very ready to go down to the lake and admit how she felt. She slipped hurriedly through the doors, so hurriedly she almost tripped on the first step.

"Over here." A whispered voice came from the shadows by the door. Her heart sung, she couldn't hear the voice properly but who else could it be?

"I thought you were by the lake?" She whispered as she snuck over, glancing furtively behind her before she followed her man into the shadows.

"What?" Hermione faltered,

"Well that's where you…never mind. Kiss me." She whispered.

"If you insist." He teased, arms reaching out to her, drawing her to him. Hermione felt herself pressed against his body and a soothing rush that came from it, a firm hand ran through her hair and held her head. When they kissed, his lips were moist and tender; exactly what she'd been waiting for. "I think I love you." She whispered.


	2. Everything Just Changed

**Author's Note: **_Please **review! **and follow, i know it's new, but i think you'll like it! ((will people please stop asking me about the end couples, it spoils the surprise) Hope you enjoy.... :) _

Hermione pouted in front of the mirror, as per usual she was the last one left in the dormitory but she didn't mind. Today she could feel amazing however late she was to anything, and she couldn't wait to see Ron.

She entered the common room and took a deep breath, trying not to let her mind slip to last night, how amazing it had been. But what she saw was not what she expected. Ron wasn't waiting for her, open arms, ready to tell her he wanted her to be his Girlfriend, he was sat with Harry and the others, looking nonplussed. He stood as Hermione walked over, already his gaze was ringing all the wrong alarm bells in her mind; she hesitated,

"Er…hi."

"Hi." He was reserved and they looked at each other for a moment, Hermione blushing, wondering what she'd done wrong. "So what kept you?" _Cryptic. _

"What do you mean?" She knew with Ron she'd have to tread carefully. He moved them away from the group so they wouldn't be over heard.

"I made a move, asked you to follow me, then you never showed. What happened?" He looked hurt, but that was the least of her problems.

"What do you mean?" She repeated slowly, her head fit to explode. _Never showed? I went, I went to him, by the doors but- he said he'd be by the lake. I went out. I spent the night with…Ron? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. _

"Cut the crap." Ron muttered, "Thought you liked me."

"No!" She gripped his arm, "No I do. I do. I just- I wanted to come last night but I-"

"Oh you did?" He scoffed. _What did I do? I went out to meet Ron. If it wasn't Ron then…_

"Yes! I just…" She thought fast, really fast, faster than she had thought she could think. "I was scared!" She babbled quickly, seeing Ron about to leave.

"What?" He turned back, disbelieving, his eyes searching her face for the truth. _I'm afraid you wont find that here. _

"I didn't…I should have just told you. But I thought I wanted to, then I was too nervous, I went back to the dormitory."

"Why didn't you just say?" He looked like he was beginning to believe her- just about.

"Just now? Because, I didn't want to say I was nervous 'cause I was too embarrassed." Finally his face cleared. _phew, I thought I'd blown it, I might have lost him and…I couldn't bare that. _Hermione looked up at his beautifully familiar features and smiled at last,

"Hermione." He chuckled quietly, "Never," He let his arms slowly encircle her waist, pull her in. "Ever, be embarrassed around me. Ok?" She nodded shyly.

"Promise." She whispered.

"And don't be scared either. I'd never hurt you." He looked down seriously, and she nodded to show she believed him. Ron placed a gentle kiss atop her forehead, and Hermione closed her eyes to feel the churn of her stomach. _That's alright then, at least my feelings haven't changed since… _"There are no secrets here." Ron whispered.

_Yeah, _she thought, _except who the hell was I making out with last night? I thought it was Ron but clearly…clearly not. _

-*-

Hermione was deeply unnerved and she couldn't for the life of her think who it could be. She needed someone she could trust with her life- easily it was Ginny. Hermione searched her out on their way out of the main hall, her and Ron were keeping a good distance apart, both equally confused. Hermione's head was going into overload.

"Ginny." She muttered. The younger girl looked up and instantly put away her magazine, seeing Mione's concern. "I can tell you anything right?"

"Always." Ginny told her, nodding definitely.

"You are never gonna believe this."

"I believe Lavender begged Draco Malfoy to the party, he didn't show and she is still swooning over the picture she keeps of him in her potions book today. I believe Parvati got in with Dean and then so did Padma- which is just down right weird. I believe I might be falling for someone…" She trailed of with an elusive and happy smile, "Try me."

"Who?" She tapped her finger on the side of her nose.

"You go first."

"Ok," Hermione was too desperate to argue, "Last night you saw Ron come and ask me to go outside with him and-"

"And stop right there!" Ginny interrupted loudly, "He's my big brother, I really don't need the 'and' or the rest of that sentence." Hermione snorted.

"Anyway…you saw him ask me outside. Then I followed. Right?"

"What is this 'life quiz- how well does Ginny watch Hermione?'"

"No but…thing is, I went out and even though Ron said he'd meet me by the lake he was by the doors, at least, that's what I thought." Ginny frowned, leaning in as Hermione's voice dropped a tone, "So I made out with him, erm, a lot. But this morning…Ron asked why I was no show. So question is…"

"Who the crap did you make out with?"

"Precisely."

"Jesus Hermione! That is…that is text book ridiculous."

"You're telling me!" Hermione moaned.

"And you couldn't tell it wasn't Ron's voice?" Ginny asked sceptically. Hermione blushed,

"I know, I thought that just now. I guess I was just presuming it was him, not paying much attention I was more interested in-"

"Yes ok!" Ginny cut in loudly, before Hermione could go into any detail about her relationship with Ron. "Well it could be anyone." She continued, "I'll listen in to people's conversations today, try and find out any info."

"Thanks Gin, you're an angel." They separated quickly, Ginny to go to Potions, Hermione to the Greenhouses for Herbology, with the Slytherins.

-*-

"Now then, if everyone would please find partners and an empty space so you can be assessed on your _own _work. No copying." Professor Sprout's voice rang loud and clear through the green house and Hermione looked around for a suitable partner. From nowhere Draco Malfoy looked up and jerked his head, he winked at her. Hermione started and glanced around her, expecting to see a Slytherin, or at the very least Lavender Brown, stood behind her to receive the wink. But it was definitely aimed at her. _What the…_ "Miss Granger!" Hermione jumped, wondering how long she'd been stood staring. "Getting into pairs usually involves some movement, snap to it!" The Professor marched away to reprimand some other poor student who was killing their plant. Awkwardly Hermione walked up to Draco,

"Do you mind?" She looked at her feet, waiting for the taunt about her hair, her teeth, her geeky uniform- anything he could find.

"Course not." He smiled, knocking Hermione for six.

"Well- I- what?" She handed him the seeds they were meant to plant nevertheless.

"Erm Granger, that's to say, Hermione…I…" Then it fell into place, with a sudden, ominous thud, heavy to Hermione's ringing ears. _Oh help. _She did the only thing that made sense, she ran from the greenhouse as fast as she could, knocking seed trays flying as she went.

Panting, Hermione rested when she was round the other side of the school, leaning heavily on the stone wall, taking comfort in reality. _Draco Malfoy and I…The only thing I know now is, everything just changed. _


	3. Favourite Chapter

**Author's Note: **_Sorry it's been so long, please enjoy… ____ and review!! X_

"So I was thinking, if I talked to Draco away from his friends, he might reciprocate more. Maybe I could like, accidentally end up in the potions cupboard with him." Lavender giggled, Hermione looked up from her book, blushing red,

"No!" She caught herself, "I mean, erm, that's way too obvious, I think he'd be the kind to go for subtle. Maybe. I mean, not that I know. It's just- well-" She thought fast, "It's an approach you haven't tried yet, isn't it?" Lavender, to Hermione's inner horror, actually looked thoughtful,

"Not bad Mione, I might give it a shot. Subtle? Hmm…how do I be subtle? Parvati, you're good at subtle, aren't you?" Hermione tucked her book firmly under her arm and stood up to leave, not sure how she felt about hearing this.

"Shall we go for a walk Mione?" Ron's soft, deep voice sounded in her ear, causing a now familiar stomach churn, "Just you and me, talk, and stuff…" His hand rested on the small of her back. Hermione jumped away in surprise,

"Er, um, no I think, erm, maybe no. I should- I'm tired- bye Ron." She fled from her poor excuse and made hurriedly, somewhat clumsily, towards the dormitory stairs. She noticed Ginny stand to follow, _God damn it Gin, leave me alone. _

She made it to the cluttered bed room and flung her book across her bed, gripping the pole of the four poster to maintain her grip on reality.

"Hermione." She jumped, even though she'd known Ginny was coming. "What's up? You and Ron…I thought you were, well, you were! Something's not right?"

"No. No, everything's, more than right it's just- not right tonight I guess. I just, I have this instinct that it's not." Ginny looked sufficiently weirded out to stop asking further questions, Hermione thanked whatever mysterious quality she possessed. "Ginny, are you in love? With anyone?" Ginny looked confused, but sat on her bed, kicking off her slippers.

"Not last time I checked. Why? Are you in love with my brother?"

"I don't know. Do you think Lavender is in love with Draco?" Ginny snorted,

"I think she's in love with herself." Hermione laughed,

"But yeah, if you were in love, how do you reckon you'd know?"

"Mione the cryptic is giving me a headache. I'll let you know when I've done it, how's that?" She could tell Ginny wasn't in a theological type mood.

"Sure. Sorry, I'm going to bed now anyway." She started to change into her nightwear, thinking, with a shudder, that Draco Malfoy's hands had been all over this body she was now undressing- it made her want to shower, real bad.

-*-

Hermione glanced over at Draco during breakfast. He hadn't touched his food and was staring rather obviously in their direction, more specifically, her direction. Hermione cringed as she saw him checking out her chest area, she shuffled her tie up her shirt and did up her top button for good measure. Ginny looked at her oddly and shook her head, going back to the colourful pages of her magazine. Hermione saw Ron coming in with Harry and decided to make a point, as the two sauntered along she rose from the table and bounced up to them.

"Hi Ron!"

"Mione." He smiled. Harry raised his eyebrows and waited patiently,

"Morning Harry," She gave him a rueful smile in return and he pulled her into a hug. When she surfaced Hermione looked around; Draco was still looking. She gave an inner sigh. "Well I'm going to go, I'm done with breakfast."

"Sorry we missed you." Ron replied, his eyes tracing her mouth, making her want to kiss him. _I don't think here would be a great, or appropriate place. _She thought, glancing round at the large table full of teachers. She placed a hand on his shoulder and stood on tiptoes, resting her lips on his skin for a moment. Hermione felt a flutter of happiness run through her.

"See you." She muttered embarrassedly to Harry, and edged between them towards the door.

Hermione got to the main doors and went and stood in the little nook just to the left. Heavy footsteps followed her, too heavy to be a girl's, though she could already guess who it was.

"Wanna go again sexy?" Hermione stepped hurriedly away from the wall,

"A whole world of no!" She said firmly. "What do you want? Oh, and don't call me sexy." She added as an after thought.

"Fine, ugly. I thought you wanted me, you were _staring _at me that whole time."

"You are infuriating." She took another pace away and looked into the distance, "I wasn't, and you know it."

"Oh please, that show with Weasley. It was entertaining don't get me wrong, but seriously? That's hardly putting out is it? Compared to what I got that was weak. Now, if you wanted to make me jealous you'd just have to-" He took a step towards her.

"You're an asshole. Back off! And stop hitting on me." She side stepped him and got into the entrance of the door, red in the face and fuming, "Look, you jerk, other girls might find this attractive but I find it creepy and annoying. I actually wanted a chance to talk to you anyway, and all I wanted to say was that you can stay away from me, and if you think the other night meant anything to me you are way beyond the realm of wrong." She turned and marched away. Then stopped an turned back, "Oh and never, ever wink at me in public again. It's not normal."

"Can I wink at you in private?" He called after her retreating bush of hair, a chuckle in his voice. She didn't deem reply.

-*-

Hermione was still in a huff as she walked alone between Charms and Potions, muttering to herself,

"Idiot, sleazy bastard, Lavender can have him, in fact I might throw her at him. Stupid, can he wink at me in private? Pfft, yeah right like I'm letting him anywhere- Ah!" She stopped and slapped her forehead stupidly. "Potions, with Malfoy, great." She tapped her foot and looked around, who would notice, or even care, if she cut just one class? She stuffed her potions book back in her bag, right at the bottom, and began ruffling for something else to read. "Aha!" She smiled happily, an hour or two of her favourite Magical Myths wouldn't be so terrible in replace for a class in a fume-and-Malfoy-filled-Dungeon. She turned smartly on her heel and headed to one of the class rooms she knew was always empty on the first floor, right by the entrance hall with a lovely view.

Hermione tossed her bag onto a desk and hitched herself up onto the wide window sill, she shuffled back to a comfier position against the wall and sighed, she was comfortable in these walls with a good book and was totally dreading how her life would be when she had to leave at the end of this year. She'd had a private fantasy in her head for some time now that her and Ron would have a little place where she'd feel this at home.

"Hey," A quiet voice entered the room and shut the door behind them with a creak. "Door was open so," Draco pointed out unnecessarily.

"Oh it's you." Hermione slammed the book shut with some force, hoping her glare would speak for itself.

"Didn't figure you for cutting class Granger?" She snorted,

"Didn't figure you for such an asshole- oh wait- yeah I did. Are you leaving yet, because I really-" She stopped mid-flow, "What are you reading?" She looked curiously at the volume clutched in his hands, more tatty than hers but in all other ways identical.

"Nothing." He muttered, "Just homework." He chucked it carelessly on the floor, Hermione winced.

"I didn't think you did homework." She raised an eyebrow coolly. Malfoy shrugged,

"I don't, but I need something if McGonagall turns up." Somehow she didn't believe him, and as she watched his eyes flicker back to the book he had 'carelessly' thrown, she knew she was right.

"So erm, what's you're favourite chapter?" She asked casually, looking back at her book to feign nonchalance.

"Pfft, my what?" He scoffed, walking over to stand against the wall and eye her up, she decided to ignore it and go for her best shot.

"Well I was just reading the Hogwarts founders one again, I like that it's mostly Griffindor's idea at the set up, you know the houses and stuff- he was exceptionally clever."

"You know, it's not really about Griffindor there, sure he ploughs on ahead with the planning but it's Rowena Ravenclaw who says they sort too soon, she knew there'd be enough segregation in the world anyway, she was a total pacifist before she joined the four founders- I've read up a little but it's not talked about in many books and I-" Draco caught himself and looked away, clearly irritated,

"Got you." Hermione muttered,

"What gave it away?" He asked grudgingly,

"You looked back when you threw the book down. I knew it must be a favourite. Plus, I've seen you around, reading when you think no one's looking." She smiled, "Where did you find the stuff on Rowena Ravenclaw? Because I was looking for a long time for something else to spice up my final History Of Magic Thesis. But Hogwarts is running out of things I haven't read."

"It's actually back at Malfoy Manor. But I can send for it? Say I want it."

"You would?"

"Sure. So what did you think the chapter's about?"

"I thought it was about the segregation already happening, it's inevitable, always has to be that way. People can't be as one."

"How do you figure?"

"Well they're already arguing, splitting decisions, making their own choices, even before they split into houses. That's segregation at its purest, it's just different people's opinions."

"Deep. Doesn't sound to me like your Thesis is gonna need much more spicing up." Hermione laughed shyly,

"Um well," She tucked her hair behind her ear, "It is massively long already. What have you got finals in?"

"Potions, Defence Against The Dark Arts, Herbology, Transfiguration."

"I'm on Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, History Of Magic, Defence Against The Dark Arts and Arithmancy." Draco raised an eyebrow,

"And clearly a lot of coffee to stay awake that many hours a day." Hermione smiled ruefully,

"Well it helps." She swung her legs off the window ledge and hopped down, picking up her bag. "Nice talking, I don't really fancy cutting another class though, with my not-so-much-free-time and all."

"Sure I get it." He smiled.

"You coming?"

"Nah, don't fancy it." She rolled her eyes; no matter what he'd just said to her he was still Malfoy. As she walked out she put a hand to the back of her hair, to check how messy it was. Hermione could still feel him watching her, but when she glanced back, he was staring resolutely out of the window, definitely not looking. She stopped, shocked,

"Did we just have a conversation?" She enquired, thrown off balance.

"Not if anyone asks Granger, if you want to stay curse-free."

"Got it." She whispered, walking out.


	4. Truth, Lies or a bit of Both

**Author's Note: **_Sorry it's been a while...i say that at the beginning of every chapter but i have so many stories i go round in circles on which i update so it can be weeks before i get to one. I'm trying to speed up now im nearly on top of all my school work. So here you see all relationships and friendships progress...please let me know what you think of how this is going!! reviews make my day! x_

Hermione looked across at Ginny and nodded decisively, Ginny did the same to her. This meant they both looked hot. They were only going out to the back of the school to drink with a large group of people from their year- but they still made an effort. Both girls wore wellies- stylishly. Hermione's were red and Ginny's a deep ocean blue, going nicely with their outfits. Mione wore a little black dress and a cardigan; Ginny had gone for tight jeans and a rather revealing strapless top. But sadly, looking around their small, buzzing dormitory, they were bearing the least flesh of all the girls. Their small group tottered downstairs and Hermione instantly hooked arms with Harry and Ron to lead the way, out of the portrait hole and as quietly as they could manage through the corridors. Through her cardigan Mione could feel Ron's thumb lightly caressing her arm- her skin tingled at the thought that they might get their first real, stomach churning, firework causing, kiss tonight.

Round the back of the school someone had badly conjured some flashing lights from somewhere, giving the sodden field the feel of a wanna-be-rave. Hermione looked around distastefully, and then pretended to have the same enthusiasm for it as the others did- when would her life deal her a suitably classy card. Still, with Ron on one arm and her best friend on the other she hardly had much right to complain. Ron sidled off to snatch the best drink he could find and her and Harry stood happily close together, suddenly he whispered in her ear,

"If I'm not very much mistaken, I'd say I just saw love." Hermione gave him a rather hard jab in the stomach with her forefinger,

"Don't be stupid." She laughed, "I don't love Ron, yet, it's much too early for that sort of thing." Her more rational voice peeped through her giggles and she even saw the truth in her own words, as much as the word 'love' had been spinning through her head last few weeks. Harry laughed even louder and pointed past her shoulder, she turned indignantly to see what was so funny,

"I meant Ginny and Seamus, over there, look." He pointed at a couple that, to Hermione's eyes in this darkness, were little more than shapes of a boy and a girl, but clearly even at this distance, very much intertwined. Then Hermione saw the funny side and turned scarlet,

"So you weren't on about me and Ron then?" She asked sheepishly,

"Well since you bring it up…" He teased, crossing his arms, "I've known you both too long to ask, I know what's going on and I think it's great." Hermione nodded, still no less red in the face, and they were silent together for a while. "Hello!" Harry muttered enthusiastically after a while, "Duty calls." He winked and dropped Hermione's arm. She followed his steps over to where Padma had just been left alone. Hermione frowned, she'd thought Harry would have usually jumped in the direction of her twin, but maybe in the absence of one…or maybe she was being too harsh on him. Perhaps Harry really did fancy Padma. She contemplated the couple seriously for a few minutes before she felt a soft hand tracing on the back of hers. She remained very still until their fingers interlocked and then she felt the gentle tug backwards. Girlish excitement filling her again, Hermione followed the hand out of the main crowd, holding it tightly in her own. As soon as they had slipped into the shadows Hermione tugged the hand to a halt and pulled the body attached to it closer. Arms, haltingly began to take hers, hesitant, faltering. Hermione smiled, she supposed he was as nervous as she was,

"Erm, Hermione…" The voice was quiet in the dark, so unlike Ron's usual loud tone that Mione hesitated, but only for a second. She tilted her lips upwards and curved her body towards his. Gently it took her, the littlest, lightest kiss imaginable, lips gently brushing with lips but Hermione felt the sparkling beginning from inside. She made to kiss again, pressing herself closer on him, but the body stepped back in surprise and gentle hands prised her away, "Hermione." This time the voice was louder and Hermione sprung back in horror.

"Draco!" She hissed, then a lot louder, "Draco!"

"Shh!" He flapped his hands and glared and her and she pursed her lips shut, eyes narrowed, utterly horrified with herself.

"How dare you? You know you're disgusting, that's twice now, do you have any idea how much I hate you? Seriously, you have some nerve. Have you seen Ron? If he sees me then this is all over and you really will be dead meat, I'm going to find him right-"

"Shut up Granger and listen." She stalled but only to glare harder.

"I'm all ears Malfoy."

"There's something you have to see."

"No likely." She replied, wrapping her cardigan tightly around her exposed chest area and scanning the dark hurriedly for spies that might have caught the mishap.

"It's your precious hubby," Draco leered and Hermione's face instantly dropped all colour, not that he could see, but it was in the tone of voice that made her feel nervous- it was the tone you used to reveal something unpleasant, like when a boyfriend is cheating. She gulped but Draco took that as a yes and moved further down the hill into the dark. She followed the muscular figure forward and placed a hand to her burning lips, a little more than annoyed with herself. She let her fingers linger there just for a second, amazed at the actual heat radiating from just one little touch; and then all heat dropped straight from her body with a thud.

-*-

Hermione wanted to yell out Ron's name in disgust, maybe play out a typical 'the lover is discovered cheating' scene, with tears and cat fights and so on. But she just took a very deliberate step back and continued to watch, not believing what she saw.

Ron had his hands firmly entangled in the messy curls of Lavender Brown, and she was kissing him more than a little enthusiastically back. Hermione closed her eyes and pressed back the tears, her whole body revolted at the gentle moans and groans she could hear all too clearly.

"God. I've seen enough." She whispered, turning on her heel and walking right back the way they'd come. She felt Draco's footsteps in time with her own and grudgingly didn't turn and snap at him to leave. They'd got no more than a few paces when Hermione stopped again and listened with horror, and revelation, to something she couldn't quite believe she was hearing. Ron's voice carried through the night,

"Oh Mione, Hermione…I want you…" Hermione blushed and closed her ears to the rest of the sentence but her world was rocking slightly, _Ron thinks that…_Lavender replied,

"Ron baby, Oh Ron!" Slowly realisation hitting him too Draco turned to face Hermione, a look crossed between distaste and disbelief on his face. Hermione's expression darkened,

"Great, just perfect." She muttered and continued to walk on up at a much brisker pace, thinking all the while, _Lavender…that two faced, low, lying little bitch. _

-*-

The atmosphere in the dorm the next morning was one of subdued tension. Ginny looked hung over, Parvati looked upset, Lavender looked quietly happy, fuzzy around the edges, and Hermione looked like she was going to kill someone. She was seething under the surface, seconds away from boiling point and ready to explode if Lavender so much as opened her mouth.

Unfortunately for all, just as Hermione was doing up her bag, silently, ready to leave for lessons, Lavender gave a contented sigh from her half-dressed position on the end of the bed.

"Wow," She whispered, "Last night…" And left the rest of the sentence ambiguously open. Hermione's school bag clattered to the floor,

"Last night…" She repeated through gritted teeth. "Last night!" Her voice rose a shrill octave and she took very deliberate steps towards Lavender, her mind on fire with anger. Lavender just stood up quietly, the day-dream smile falling away from her face very quickly. "You are a lying little bitch!" Her raised her hand and slapped her hard around the face. Fortunately for Lavender Hermione could slap all that hard but her cheek tingled red in her pale white expression, giving Hermione enough satisfaction not to try it again. "And he thought you were me." She whispered venomously as she turned sharply away and snatched her school bag from the floor. Lavender stood, lip shaking a little, and then begged Hermione's back,

"Don't tell him I knew…just don't tell him." Hermione looked onto Lavender's wide, horrified eyes with no pity, but she saw the sense, for both of them. The other two girls hadn't moved a muscle, holding their breaths for Hermione's verdict. She nodded curtly, and then left the room as fast as she could, hearing Lavender's hiss of a relieved exhale before she allowed the door to bang.

Hermione managed to avoid Ron right through breakfast even until she was heading for her class waiting outside of second lesson. Coming out of the charms classroom was the previous class, containing both Ron and Harry and Draco and his cronies. Hermione sidestepped, looking determinedly at anything but the approaching gaggle of students, joining neatly to the back of her line.

"Mione." Ron came right up to her and put a hand either side of her waist, Harry waiting patiently out of the way. Hermione flustered, not sure where to look let alone where to put her hands.

"Ron." She hoped her voice came across more confident than she felt.

"How are you feeling? After last night…" He trailed off a little and she found the confidence to look at his face. A red blush crept beneath his freckles but his smile was so genuine and happy, glittering back in his brown eyes, that Hermione couldn't resist a reluctant smile. How was he to know it wasn't her? She struggled internally for a few moments, flitting between truth, partial truth, and the whole lie she felt like telling- if only to save their relationship. Really she was terrified if she told him, he might decide that he preferred Lavender anyway.

"Good." She said finally, "A little tired, but good." Ron gave a contented smile and she found she could almost genuinely join in. He bent and kissed her forehead, much to her happy embarrassment, and then ruffled her frizzy hair lightly.

"See you round." He grinned and left with Harry, who threw a knowing smile back over his shoulder. Hermione's smile lingered after they left, but only half-felt, the other half of her was feeling crushed and broken, sure Ron had been drinking, but how could he not tell? If he really felt…_I don't even know what he feels. _She thought gloomily.

Hermione looked up again and noticed Draco stood, watching her curiously. She blushed, knowing from his face that he had seen the exchange.

"Keep it quiet." He commented. Hermione snorted and turned her shoulders at an awkward angle for him. She hadn't really expected it to put him off, and it didn't, "Why? What's in it for you? You can't be trying to protect the slut?" Hermione gave him a stern look and cast her eye around the corridor, checking for any Lavender like presence.

"It's not for her." She replied eventually, "It's for us, well me. In case he…"

"In case he changes his mind and ditches you for her?" Draco looked unimpressed, "That's ridiculous." Hermione looked at the floor,

"Yeah well, it's none of your business anyway." She snapped. Like she needed relationship advice from Malfoy. He considered her seriously for a moment, looked like he was going to disagree, but then his face clouded over.

"Yeah sure. You may as well live a lie, I mean, what's the point in a guy respecting you." His voice was cold, but he was long gone by the time Hermione had raised her eyes. She looked away from the space he had stood almost in shame, he was telling the truth and she knew he was saying something else too, just didn't want to know what.


	5. Thesis On Revulsion

**Author's Note: **_Keep up the fab reviews guys :) you're making me happy, hope you like how the story develops! there's not that much action storyline by the way, its mostly romance/drama...but i hope you like it any how!! xox_

Hermione hunched her shoulders more as she leaned critically over her essay, determined to find some fault. That was part of her problem as a perfectionist, she had to be her own worst critic, she couldn't accept that something was finished until five minutes before the deadline when she knew she could do no more. The library was freezing and she wished she could study somewhere warmer but the common room would be far too distracting, even this early in the evening before high jinks begun. She'd go back only right before they went out that evening, everyone in her year was trudging down to Hogsmede's 'Polyjuice'- the only nightclub, as far as Hermione could tell, in the entire wizarding world.

Hermione tried to hunch her body closer, and realised she couldn't physically get any smaller. She sighed, tightening her scarf and trying again to concentrate, but the cold was biting and her essay was starting to annoy her. She picked up the parchment and shouldered her bag, stretching out her cramped limbs before she could walk anywhere. Hermione ducked out of the library doors, trying to avoiding catching the attention of the scary librarian, she hated Hermione with a passion because she was always sneaking more library books than were actually allowed on her ticket. Hermione smirked at her misdemeanour; who cared?

She wandered the corridors, thinking she'd find a small, quiet classroom on this floor and light a fire in, where no one would tell her off for practising magic out of lessons but she could at least keep herself warm in this ridiculously drafty castle. _Got one. _She eyed up a tiny end classroom, or maybe even an ex-office, in the corner of the corridor she was on, not too many outside walls to let in drafts either. Mione strode towards it and then stopped. She backtracked a few steps. One classroom door was left ajar and inside was a soft orange glow, it had caught her eye, someone doing exactly what she was doing. Hermione crept closer to the crack, trying to peer through, get a clear image of the person. Slowly, she inched the door open, trying not to put all her weight into it, then she saw who it was.

"Malfoy?" She practically fell into the room. The blonde head looked up and didn't smile, but neither did he snarl.

"You done with your thesis yet?" Hermione opened her mouth a little, "The History of Magic one?" He iterated, clearly annoyed at repeating himself.

"I'm never done." She smiled ruefully and looked for any sign that he was willing to be civil, at least on an academic level. Mione thought she saw a flicker of some kind of light behind the devilish eyes.

"Well if you're not finished, I got that book from the Manor." Hermione started with interest, and walked over to the table, placing her thesis out of harm's way and dumping her bag at her feet. At a pat of Draco's hand by way of invitation Hermione slid onto the desk and picked up the leather-bound book- it looked deliciously devour-able.

"Oooh, yum!" Draco spluttered,

"Did you just say 'yum' in relation to a book?" Hermione blushed, and when he laughed she opened the book to a random page and tried to hide her head inside it,

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She squealed. Draco laughed some more and then they fell silent for a while as Hermione began to read the book in earnest, after a few moments she looked up; Draco was looking at her intently across the flames. "What?" She whispered, her voice not fully coming out.

Draco said nothing he just stood and moved towards her desk. There was nothing threatening about his walk but something made Hermione want to shy back, but she couldn't, his grey eyes wouldn't allow her to. He stopped just in front of her, hands either side of her on the desk, his head unbearably close to hers. Softly, Hermione twitched her head to the side, move her lips out of his range. Draco whispered,

"What did it feel like?"

"What?" She was breathless,

"When we first kissed, before you knew it was me, what did you feel?" Then she couldn't draw breath, a minute or more or complete stillness where she grappled with herself and tried not to feel Draco's breath on her cheek. Then, very firmly, she pushed him away.

"Time to go," She muttered, "We don't want to be caught out of common rooms anyway." A look of hurt flashed momentarily across Draco's puzzled face, then it vanished and he just nodded.

"Too damn right."

They snuck back through the corridors, going close to the bottom of Griffindor tower first, then Draco would continue to his own common room. Hermione was about to make a dash for the bottom of the stairs, glancing around for Filch or Mrs Norris, but all was clear. Then, without warning, Draco grabbed her roughly by the arm and yanked her back behind the corner they stood at. He crouched down, pressed back against the brickwork and Hermione instinctively mimicked him,

"What?" She hissed, and when he didn't reply, "What is it?" Draco sshed her and tapped his ear, indicating, she should listen,

"I'm sooo up for tonight," A sickly sweet voice slipped down the corridor towards them and Hermione suppressed her immense confusion, "Maybe I'll even get lucky!" The voice reached squeal pitch at the end of the sentence and a few laughs around it echoed back and forth, then it disappeared all together. Slowly, the couple rose,

"Lavender." Draco hissed with a role of his eyes and a shiver, "Can't bear her, she's disgusting, such a slag." Hermione knew she shouldn't laugh but it was bubbling within her, she managed to restrain herself to a knowing smile,

"Draco Malfoy hiding from Lavender Brown, now I _have _seen everything." Draco grimaced,

"Not at all that surprising, when you consider it." He winked, "See you at eleven." And then slipped away down a small flight of winding stairs.

-*-

"To Poly!" Ron yelled, jabbing his fist into the air as the rowdy group marched from the gates towards Hogsmede, most of them already part way drunk. Hermione was in one of her less prudish moods and was quite enjoying it, as she linked arms with him and Harry, staggering a little in her heels, and gurgling with unstoppable-laughter; everything was so funny when she was drunk. The crowd lurched forward as they neared the club, none of them worried about getting ID-ed (Hermione didn't think wizards knew what ID was, or that you were supposed to have it to be allowed in a pub/club), and filed through the door one by one, leaving their jackets in the 'cloak room'.

The club, which was a tiny venue with one bar and a dance floor that melded into the drinking/gaming area, was filled with short, stocky stone pillars to hold the place up, the only light was candle light and the temperature varied from hot to boiling. Tonight the place was rammed so temperature was at an all time high. They quite often had decent live bands in but more often had school budding-bands in, and most nights they just had a DJ playing club tunes. Outside of Hogwarts Hermione would not have been the average club type of girl, but inside, it was a whole different story.

"A drink my darling?" Ron looked down at her with a smile as he leaned on the bar, she nodded and then blushed,

"Darling?" She wrinkled her nose, the word sounded odd, but not unwanted. After all, anything that Ron called her was just fine; it was Ron. He laughed as he swept a drink up from the bar and handed it to her,

"I'll take that as a yes." Hermione nodded gratefully and began to sip delicately, ignoring Ron's slight slurping as he knocked back his glass. She turned to make conversation with Harry but found he was gone, she was about to ask where, when her eyes fell on him dancing with Ginny. _Honestly Gin, last week Seamus this week Harry, who next? I've only been with-_And there she cut her thoughts off abruptly, not really wanting a mental wrestle with her conscience right now, when she was about to finally get some real couple-time with Ron. She placed her glass back down,

"You wanna dance?" Her eyes were playful as she blinked up at him, causing the smile to fade, only slightly, into a deeper, sexier look.

"Sure." Ron took her hand and they squirmed their way through the crowds across the floor to where their friends were dancing, Ron slinging a casual arm around Hermione waist. Pretty soon they were rocking out, Hermione could grind and roll as well as the rest of them, though if you'd seen her huddled, nose buried in a book, in the library a few hours earlier, you'd never have guessed.

-*-

"I'm hot!" Hermione tried to tell Ron, across the thud of the bass,

"What?" He mouthed back, voice completely lost in the noise,

"I'm hot!" She yelled louder. Harry heard this and sniggered, Ron caught his eye and saw the joke,

"I know, why do you think I'm dancing with you?" Hermione pouted,

"Funny." She pulled away, "I'm going outside," And when he shook his head and tapped his ear, indicating he couldn't hear her, she held up five fingers, "Back in five." She mouthed, deciding it best to just save her breath.

Carefully she picked her way towards the door, fanning herself a little melodramatically to try and get people to move out of her way. It didn't work, most people in the club were used to dodging projectile vomit and then dancing around it. Finally she made it out of the tiny door way and into the bitingly cold air. She took a long breath in, eyes closed, and then began to gently pace, in an attempt to cool herself down and hopefully reduce her extreme redness.

After a few moments her breathing slowed and she began to feel the chill, and then to notice another panting noise- no longer concealed by her out-of-breath-ness. Curiously Hermione looked around, then took a few paces right, peering around the corner into the dark. And then she wished she hadn't. The panting noise was coming from a girl, _oh god, _Lavender. She was pushed up against the pub wall, panting, and moaning and making all kinds of noises that Hermione was sure would haunt her till she died,

"_Oh _Draco!" Hermione's mouth could have fallen off as she looked to see who it was pushing her back, and kissing her neck; the unmistakable oh-so-blonde head of Draco Malfoy. _What a hypocrite! _

They hadn't seen her, thank god, but for some reason Hermione's throat was tight, painfully so, and her head had just started to spin all the more. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't bare it and she all she could do was begin running, odd as that may sound, in the total opposite direction to the horrific couple. _Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite…_It flew round her mind like poison, but what else had she expected? From Draco Malfoy? She slowed to a definite march and each stride she imagined she was stamping on the porn-like image of Draco and Lavender she hadn't seen, she couldn't stand it, but it wouldn't leave, she couldn't shake the feeling of revulsion she had experienced deep in the pit of her stomach the first second she'd realised who it was. Though why that was so significant? She had no idea.


	6. Thinking About Sex

**Author's Note: Possibly the most drawn out erm 'romance' scene ever, haha without giving too much away. Apologies. _Please Review! _Hope you enjoy!! Oh and sorry it's been sooo long!!**

"Mmm last night was _soo _good." Lavender crooned, rolling around semi-naked in her bedclothes even though it was almost eleven. Ginny didn't even look up from painting her toe-nails, but made a point of turning up the volume on her iPod and adjusting her headphones over dramatically, to suggest she didn't give a damn what Lav was about to say. Hermione was wrapped in a towel, just coming out of the bathroom, and quickly scanned the room for the other girls, but they were all gone.

"Did you 'get lucky'?" She tried not to let the sarcasm push through her voice too much as she began to towel her hair dry. Lavender giggled girlishly then sighed,

"Let's just say…" She paused dramatically, her eyes fixed right on Hermione awkwardly searching for some comfy underwear "He _knows _how to work a girl out, I'm shattered." They remained silent, Hermione searching vigorously for her next layer of clothes, her hands shaking a little.

"Was he…good? I mean, what was it like?" Lavender raised her eyebrows,

"I have had sex before Hermione, I'm not a complete amateur."

"Yeah, course, yes, obviously- me too- duh. I mean, on a scale, you know, of one to ten." Hermione blushed, not wanting show her embarrassment at still being a virgin. She glanced at Ginny and frowned, wondering if she was too. Hermione certainly didn't want to know how many guys Lavender had 'had', or who.

"Well," Lavender twirled a strand of hair round her finger, considering, "I think it was my best, although we had a little trouble at first, you know what it's like trying standing up." She lapsed into more giggles, Hermione couldn't have felt more awkward, trying to join in, perched fully clothed on the edge of her bed. "But after that, wow, I mean- ggrrr-" She made a growling noise and Mione choked back the bile rising in her throat, standing rather abruptly. Lavender didn't notice, "You wouldn't believe how many times he made me-"

"Ok I've really got to go Lav!" She crooned as loudly as possible, cutting her short and trying not to imagine how that sentence might have ended. "Nice chatting, I'm in a hurry, bye." She scampered out into the stairwell and straight down to the common room, where nice, normal people were.

"Hermione." She was instantly pounced on by Ron, who appeared the second her feet hit the carpet at the bottom of the stairs. "Are you feeling better, love?" Hermione blushed a little, they weren't an official couple so it felt weird to have him call her pet names, especially with everyone in earshot. The second reason she blushed was trying to come up with a lie quickly enough. She'd told the others that she'd been feeling ill and that's why she'd rushed out on the party, nowhere even close to the truth, she imagined they must have told Ron at some point that morning. Should she pretend to be miraculously better, or milk it a little?

"Um, ok, I had something for my headache, but not a hundred percent." She faked a brave smile, and tried to keep a fonder one from her eyes as she saw Ron's genuine concern.

"Aw, come here." He cooed, and she was more than happy to snuggle under his arm and be lead to the sofa. He plumped up the cushions before she sat and stayed very close to her. "Do you need a drink or anything?" She paused thoughtfully, but Harry caught her eye over Ron's shoulder and grinned, he made fake sick noises. She shook her head teasingly.

"Actually I probably should have some breakfast, you feel like some?"

"I've already had some, but I'm more than ready for second breakfast." Hermione laughed as they stood again and walked slowly together to the portrait hole, even the thought of one breakfast, after what Lavender had just told her, made her feel nauseous.

They entered the hall with more than one pair of eyes one them, Hermione noted Cho's keen gaze trace them across the room and then tap Padma on the shoulder and start gossiping.

"You'd think they had better things to talk about." She commented as she swung her legs under the bench and Ron, unusually thoughtful, poured her a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Than us? No way, we're sexy." He announced loudly, almost proudly, but ignoring the titters from younger students; his eyes were locked on hers, and she liked the feeling.

"Damn straight Mr." She giggled, pulling the toast rack towards her. All the confusion seemed to slip away, and she remembered how'd she'd felt a few short months ago, when she'd realized what Ron meant to her. It had taken her a long time to admit to herself, and even longer to tell Harry, and now, suddenly, everyone knew- and that was fine too.

-*-

"Honestly Mione you've been all over him, just get back over there, you don't have to hang with us," Ginny made a fake sniffing noise, "It's ok, we'll survive." She flung a hand dramatically to her head and sunk backwards onto Harry. Hermione rose slowly with a playful smile,

"Ahaa…" She replied jokingly, "All over him…got it." She raised a pointed eyebrow to the couple that couldn't keep their hands off each other. She'd been watching interestedly, when she wasn't staring at Ron, and every two or so minutes Harry would touch Ginny's waist or thigh, and Ginny would lean her head closer, or try and catch his fingers in her own, or deliberately brush against him. They certainly had got close in such a short space of time, Hermione couldn't help but wonder if they'd had sex. She seemed to be thinking about it a lot lately. She shook her head, annoyed at herself, _think about it much more and I'll turn into a guy. _She thought.

Hermione sidled back over to Ron and leaned over the back of the sofa so her head was in line with his as he played cards. His head jerked in recognition but he kept his eyes on the game,

"Oh, fold." He muttered after a few more seconds, tossing his cards down onto the table. "Want to go somewhere sweetheart?" Hermione blushed again.

"Sure." Ron stood up and walked round the sofa to meet her. "What?" She muttered awkwardly, the blush still hadn't faded, Ron was stood very close to her.

Ron took a giant step towards her and grabbed her by the waist; he kissed her. A full-on, straight to the lips kiss, right in front of everybody. Hermione felt a little bubble of happiness, somewhere under the embarrassment.

"Ron," She muttered reproachfully, tucking her hair back behind her ear, as they broke apart to the tune of wolf whistles and cat calls.

"What? Not like it's a first kiss, just first in public." He laughed easily and turned to walk out of the room with a playful smile. Hermione hesitated- that had been their first kiss, as far as she was concerned. But now wasn't the time to come clean, she just followed him shyly.

They walked apart down to the end of the corridor until Ron stopped and turned to her.

"You're not mad are you Mione?"

"Do I look mad?" She smiled happily, she was content. Impulsively Hermione darted forward and gave him another peck in the lips,

"That it?" He whispered. "What about what you were doing at the other party? That was good…you want to?" Hermione blanched, feeling his grip, warm and comfortable, around her. That had been Lavender, again.

"Er well…" She tried not to look shifty, her brain working over time, _come on Mione, lie! _She dropped her voice to sound sexier, "Why don't you remind me?" A smile crossed Ron's face as she kept her gaze playful, a little worried that whatever Lavender had 'done at the other party' might be too much for her to handle.

Ron gently curved a hand round the back of her neck and caught her hair, he kissed her again, gently, Hermione yielding to his touch so that they began to move backwards till they came to a wall, Hermione's head spun with what Lavender had said earlier about standing up. Still, she couldn't help it, she kissed more and more enthusiastically, their tongues intertwining, their hands wandering way off base for a first kiss.

After a few minutes, maybe more, of feverish pushing and grunting the wall was starting to graze Mione's back where Ron's hands had tugged at her shirt.

"Oh!" She gave a little cry of pain and Ron lay off kissing, gently nuzzling her neck, breathing heavily.

"You ok baby?" He whispered, rubbing up and down her arms comfortingly.

"Can we go somewhere…else?"

"Sure." Ron took her chin in his hand and kissed her deeply, then lead her by the hand the rest of the way down the corridor. He pushed a door open and tugged her through, then shut it quietly. Hermione's breathing quickened again, she wondered if she'd get dizzy from all the hyperventilating.

Ron pushed up her top, then took hold of the edge and Hermione raised her arms. He fumbled with the catch on her bra,

"You sure?" He whispered. _No, no I'm not sure. _She thought, but didn't say, because it was Ron and she _did _want him. She nodded, shakily. Ron smiled and kissed her again, she caught onto the feeling and didn't stop kissing him, she couldn't. He un-popped her jeans and pulled them down, the couple went down too, kneeling on the hard, classroom floor. Hermione pulled Ron's top over his shoulders and he undid his belt and jeans quicker than she could have done. There was a moment of quick awkwardness and then Ron lay back, tugging her forward; Mione knelt over him awkwardly, both breathing heavily. He leaned upward and kissed her neck, then whispered,

"Remember now sexy?" He tried to tug her hand down, obviously wanting her to… _Oh god, Lavender you never said you went this far with him. _She thought venomously.

"Ron I –" She hesitated and he awkwardly untangled himself and sat up, kneeling next to her again, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,

"Mione." He crooned softly.

"I do want you," She whispered into the echo-y room, "God, so much." He nodded and they kissed again, passionately, clutching at each other. He laid her back now, and gently, but firmly, placed his body over hers. Ron reached for his wand and quickly muttered a protection spell, _where's Muggle methods when you need them? That is so awkward. _Hermione's mind kept wandering. Did she want this at all? _Yes, yes I do. _Gently Ron separated her legs and then looked right in her eyes,

"Hermione, I want you so much." She closed her eyes and nodded,

"I want you too."

**_Author: I put in here about the protection spell to remind everyone if you are having any kind of sexual relations with any one, or are planning to, please remember to use protection, it is important!_**


	7. Perfect

**Author's Note:  Some explicit content again, not too much though. If you are worried by any of the issues raised here you can message me and i can link you to sites that can professionally help with any...you know, sexual, kind of issues. I say this because i don't know how young some readers may be :) Anyway on a lighter note, i hope you like it :) and please review! xxx**

"Ah!" Hermione bit her lip and felt her back tense against the cold floor. Ron shifted his weight and stroked a shaky hand down her face,

"Baby? Did I hurt you?"

"No…" She shuffled to a more comfortable position, "It's fine, try again." Ron kissed her softly and pushed his body towards hers once more, "Ow." It hurt more this time, so she visibly jerked away, she couldn't help it, it was a natural reaction.

"Ok, no." Ron muttered, delicately levering himself off her and kneeling up, he reached for his pants. Hermione shot up,

"What? What is it? Am I not- what did I do?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, Hermy, this clearly isn't right. It's not you, exactly, it's just-"

"Exactly?" Her voice came out louder, sounding foreign where they'd been whispering for so long. She began to shiver and, feeling awkward as Ron got dressed, reached for her underwear.

"Baby," He took her by the hands and kissed her, "I don't think you're ready, or we're ready- whatever- I just think, that maybe we should wait. I'm not going to run away," He laughed gently, "The other night was amazing and we went a lot further tonight, I think we just need to slow it down a little, you know?" Hermione nodded, a little reluctantly.

Ron stood up and turned away while Hermione scrabbled awkwardly for her clothes, she could have cried she felt so useless; but she didn't. She stood too, and kissed Ron on the cheek,

"I'm sorry." She said, forlornly.

"Don't you dare." He told her, looking right in her eyes, "It's no one's fault, sometimes it just happens."

"I'm going for a walk." She muttered by way of a reply.

"What? Back to the dormitory?"

"No, I just- I feel like a walk." She took a deep breath.

"Ok," Ron sounded uncertain, "Do you want me to come?" Mione shook her head,

"No thanks, I just want to be by myself for a bit, you know?" Ron half shrugged, like he didn't really 'know' at all, but was willing to let her go. As she pulled open the heavy door Ron called out,

"You still my girl?" Hermione hesitated _of course you are, silly. _

"Sure." She replied, with an attempt at cheery.

Hermione went down as fast as possible, taking to the staircases quickly to get away from Griffindor tower. She was visibly shaking and her head was spinning. _Is there something wrong with me? There shouldn't be a problem when you try and have sex, he shouldn't 'not' be able to do it, what did I do wrong? Why does no one ever tell you what to do? _

"Granger." She looked up and spun round. She'd just walked right by Draco, skulking in a dark alcove in the corridor, and not even noticed him. He stood up, only half-heartedly attempting to conceal his book behind his back.

"It's ok, I know, you read…_so _over it now." She look disdainful and made to walk on.

"Everything ok with your other half?" Draco sneered.

"You're such a hypocrite!" She yelled suddenly, making Draco jump back, suddenly looking defensive. "You're a filthy, lying, hypocrite."

"What do you-?"

"Oh please! You say you can't stand Lavender, couldn't even bare to walk past her, that she disgusts you. Then you sleep with her? That's ridiculous, beyond ridiculous, you're the most pathetic excuse for a guy in this school." She paused in her rant for a deep breath, aware that she wasn't entirely fair, but she needed a place to vent; Draco seemed like as good a place as any.

"Hold on," Draco took a step forward indignantly,

"No I-"

"Yes! Listen to me." He raised his voice and Hermione stopped, folding her arms. _This 'venting' lark isn't actually helping at all, I feel more wound up. _"With Lavender I never meant-"

"Oh let me guess." She began sarcastically, "You didn't realize it was her, you thought it was someone else…I don't know, maybe me? Or Ginny? Or bloody Pansy Parkinson? Anyone but her. God, because Lavender is _so _unrecognizable isn't she?"

"No but…ok seriously, at first I didn't know who it was who came out to join me, I just went with it, then after a bit she spoke, and I realized. I'm not going to lie, I went along with it for a bit, then she wanted too much and I told her I wasn't up for it- only ruder and more succinct. I didn't shag her." He finished, folding his arms too and frowning,

"You didn't?"

"A whole world of no!"

"But then…oh, she said you did."

"Yeah and you believed her? Always reassuring. Goodbye, Granger." He turned and stalked off into the shadows. Hermione stared at the floor. _So Lavender lied, why am I not surprised? Also, I seriously don't care about them, they can do what they like, I have my own problems. _

-*-

Hermione raised herself from the cold stone wall and stretched in the grayish almost-dawn. She'd gone for a very, very long walk and ended up outside, in the cold, by herself. She hadn't slept, at all. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, it felt disgusting already and she'd only washed it the previous day.

Hermione walked in a daze towards the tower, doubting anyone would be up. Maybe she could sneak into the Prefects' bathroom; she'd always known the password. She drew closer to the stairs at the bottom of the tower and noticed a figure hunched there, apparently deep in thought. She didn't need to get too close before she knew it was her best friend, Harry. She walked over and sat down next to him, she could tell he was thinking.

"Need to talk?" She asked softly.

"You look rough." He commented, "Did you sleep? And, yeah, I wouldn't mind."

"No." She answered, "Did you?"

"Not much. Ron didn't say anything was wrong, but then, I didn't see him get in last night, so what happened?" Hermione cringed,

"Oh I hate this, I don't…I can't- look, you first. What's up?" Harry looked concerned,

"Ok," He said, unsure. "You don't have to tell me anything Mione, but if you're this worried then…" He trailed off and shrugged. "Mine's not that terrible if I'm honest. Me and Gin had an argument about her flirting with Seamus, only she insists she wasn't, I just couldn't help it- I felt so distant from her. It felt like everything we'd been saying to each other, everything we'd done was just pointless, it was a lie. And I've kind of been giving her time to cool off and thinking about whether she really was flirting, I don't know, was I over reacting?"

"Maybe not," Hermione replied honestly, finding some shred of sanity left in her brain to deal with Harry's problems, "Harry I know you, and your instincts are usually right." Harry nodded glumly.

"That's the only problem with her being so attractive, I can't keep hold of her. Everyone, well except Ron, everyone wants her." Hermione looked away, hiding the jealously in her eyes, wondering what it would be like for everyone to want you. "I don't feel good enough for her Mione, she never quite seems…satisfied." Hermione looked sidelong at him, he caught her eye and they laughed out loud, "Oh not like that, you know what I mean, in a bigger sense of the word 'satisfied'. Come on you, you look terrible, let's get you to somewhere you can sleep." He changed tact swiftly.

"Actually I was going to use the Prefects' bathrooms before everyone got up, come with?" He nodded and they stood up together, both feeling calmer and in safe hands as they walked in the opposite direction, the short distance to the grand, private bathrooms

Behind the huge bath tub was a row of six showers which Harry and Mione now made their way to. Hermione did 'eeny-meeny-miney-mo' in her head to pick a shower then turned to Harry slowly.

"I really am sorry, about Ginny." Harry nodded,

"It's probably just over reacting, we'll be fine. Now what happened with you and Ron?" Hermione took a deep breath, she felt like she was going to cry again, but she reigned it in. _Come on Mione, get a grip. _

"We were going to…um…there was this thing we were going to- we wanted to-"

"Hermione, if you're going to do it you should probably be able to say it." Harry pointed out,

"Ok fine, we were going to, or wanted to, have sex. But then I- I don't know if there's something wrong with me." She barely whispered.

"What? Why do you think that?"

"Well he tried, and he couldn't, you know…and I think it was my fault." She shrugged, attempting nonchalance and failing. Harry came right over and wrapped his arms around her, she was happy to be taken into his embrace.

"Mione, there is nothing wrong with you. It's just- well if you were nervous, and he probably was a bit too, and that just means that you tense up sometimes. Some days are just bad days anyway, it's not always going to work." He laughed lightly, "It's not quite like the movies, is it?" Hermione smiled a little, tucked away inside his chest. Then she pulled away and looked up to his honest green eyes,

"So you promise it's not me?" He nodded firmly.

He pushed her stray hair back from her face and let his hand linger there. Then he tilted his head down a little, curiously, inside Hermione was feeling the same pressing curiosity. Just to kiss, nothing more. So they kissed. Their lips pushed together not once but again and again, Harry's hand tightened around her neck, the other dropping below her waist. Hermione ran her hands up his chest slowly and then locked the round the back of his neck.

They didn't stop; they couldn't seem to get control. Harry pushed Hermione backwards, she was familiar with the feeling now, but she staggered groping behind her for a wall- it was a lot further than she expected. Eventually they crashed into it with some force, hands fumbling to remove clothes quick enough. Harry lifted Hermione easily onto the window ledge where she attempted to balance awkwardly. He pulled her jeans down to knee level as she tugged to undo his in return. Soon they were off too. The pair pushed awkwardly together against the wall, Harry's grip getting ever firmer on Hermione's skin, she dug her nails in.

"Harry!" She exclaimed, when she could catch her breath. "Before we, um, well…" She felt uncomfortable having to say it, "Protection." She muttered. Harry closed his eyes, then, very slowly, got off her. She slid down from the wall. Sensing a change in atmosphere Hermione tugged up her jeans and scrambled to do them up.

"I can't do this." Harry told her, his back turned as he lifted his damp shirt from the wet floor. "Not to Ginny, it's not fair." Hermione closed her eyes too,

"You're right. I should shower." She added, trying to jump the subject along. She listened to Harry crossing the room,

"Sorry." He called back before he left.

Hermione threw all her clothes off as quickly as she could. She went straight into the nearest shower, not the one she'd planned, shaking like crazy,

"Cold." She commanded it, and then under her breath, "Really cold. Oh god!" She almost yelled as the shower spray hammered down, freezing cold. She scrubbed vigorously at her scalp and then her skin, desperately trying to get the feeling of being dirty off her. "Oh god, oh god, oh god." She repeated, pressing her eyes tight shut against the icy waves of water and thumping her head against the shower wall. "What is wrong with me?" She staggered back and thumped into the other wall, sliding down till she was huddled, shivering, at the bottom of the shower letting the chill cloak her body.

"Hey, are you ok?" A voice yelled across the room.

"Off." Hermione demanded the shower, but didn't reply to the voice. Footsteps strode across the room,

"I said- oh holy crap!" It was Draco, and she was as shocked as him; he turned away quickly so he wouldn't look at her naked. Only now, listening to her breath, could Hermione notice she was crying. Draco walked away and then came back shortly, his back still to her but with one hand outstretched behind him with a towel in his grasp. Shakily Hermione stood and slowly wrapped the towel around herself. "God Granger." Draco looked at her sorry self, "How much can have gone wrong today, it's only just breakfast?" When she didn't respond to his joke his face fell serious, "I'll get you something," He told her gently, "I wont be a moment." And he left the room.

Hermione just stood and shivered, she'd never felt so confused or hurt in her whole life; she'd never felt so _wrong. _And she'd definitely never had no one to blame before, no one but herself, that is.

Draco reappeared and just looked at her for a moment, he bent and picked up her clothes when it became apparent that she wasn't going to do it.

"I called up the Room Of Requirements, just over the hall, there's no one about. I thought you might just want some time to yourself, away from… well, everyone." He cleared his throat, apparently embarrassed by his empathy for her, but Hermione didn't notice. They crossed the corridor, Hermione a lot less awkward than she would usually have been as she padded her feet across the stone corridor, leaving damp footprints.

When she looked in, she saw Draco's imagination couldn't have been all that brilliant when he conjured this. It was just a basic Hogwarts bedroom, only a little bit smaller: a comfy chair and a large bed with hangings, a chest, a large mirror and wash basin but no windows. There was, however, a small vase of primroses by the bed, and as Hermione looked more closely she noticed a box of tissues and some fresh towels- maybe he had put a little thought into it after all.

"Thank you." Her voice was hoarse, "It's perfect."


	8. The Truth has a Habit

**Author's Note: **_Hey so, yeah, i hope you like this chapter. A little explicit content but not too bad! Enjoy, **review, **and I hope this is better for all those who didn't like the last chapter. Oh, just so you're aware, I haven't changed it because you didn't like it, I just think you'll like this better. (be patient my stories usually work out so most people like them!) xxx_

_***_

Draco stood awkwardly holding the plate of toast and cup of tea, Hermione merely gawping from her seat on the bed. She was finally fully clothed but feeling no less depressed and even the shock of seeing Draco Malfoy reappear, after she'd thought she'd been left to herself, with this gesture of caring was not enough to shake her from her stupor.

"Thanks." She muttered, not moving. Draco sighed and put the items on the bedside table.

"You know, you can stop beating yourself up any time now." He was sarcastic, "Granger, whatever you've done is small-fry compared to what some of us have got to feel guilty about, I wouldn't worry yourself."

"It's not just guilt." Hermione looked away from Draco's suddenly curious eyes, "I mean, the guilt is there, sure. But I just feel like-" _Don't cry, just stop crying Hermione, get a grip. _"There's something wrong with me." She finished in a half-voice. There was silence.

"I'll erm," Draco felt like such a jerk. When it came to caring, he wasn't big with other people's problems, but this was different. "I'll listen if you want to- you know- I'm sure it's not you that's wrong though."

-*-

So Hermione explained the whole story to him, right to the point where he'd entered the room.

"It's awful." She whispered. "I feel useless and wrong because I couldn't with Ron, then I feel pathetic and guilty and very much like a slut for even thinking about wanting to with Harry, and then I feel disgusting because he didn't want me either. I know that makes no sense but-"

"Actually it does. I get it." Draco replied. "And it really sucks, feeling that way, but you're not disgusting, there's nothing wrong with you, and this is just life. It very rarely goes right." There was a silence in which Hermione saw his sense, even if she wasn't quite ready to admit it yet. She sniffed and wiped her nose,

"Thanks. I don't know why I can tell you but not even explain it to myself inside my head."

"There's some things you can only tell to someone you don't know, a stranger."

"Draco, you're not a stranger." She said softly actually catching his eyes and holding his gaze.

"So Granger," He looked away, taking a deep breath. "You ready to tell me how you felt when we kissed yet?" She half smiled,

"No. Let's just…" Draco stood up, his back still to her. Hermione bit her lip. "You tell me first." And all her insides began to tingle with anticipation. When he'd first asked her, she'd been dying to ask him back. He turned around and walked straight to her quickly. He put a hand either side of her face.

"Like this." And they kissed, again. It was beautiful. Hermione wasn't aware of anything but Draco's lips for a good few minutes. He pulled his lips away very softly but his head remained tenderly close, his thumb stroked lightly over her cheek and neck. The other hand tentatively unzipped her jumper, which had been firmly tugged right to the neckline. Now he saw why, and laughed lightly, "Granger, where's your T-shirt?" She giggled,

"Still damp." She pointed to where it was draped over a self-heating bar attached to the wall. Much like a Muggle radiator, only some complex spell kept it running not their contribution to electricity bill.

"Fine by me," He breathed back gently undressing her piece by piece.

It didn't take long for Draco to skillfully remove all their clothing, though Hermione was useless with shock and definitely shaking- but in such a good way. Not in a shaking on the freezing stone floor with Ron or shaking from horror at her and Harry in the damp, steamy bathrooms. Shaking in a please-let-this-never-end way, it was like a slow adrenaline rush- more like an adrenaline drip. He gently lay her back and the bed sunk a little as they moved clumsily up it.

"I've never…" She began to say. Wanting to tell him she was a complete nun and that the first time they'd kissed was her first proper experience with any guy.

"Ssh," He whispered, moving his hands down her body and beginning to tease her, but keeping their eyes locked firmly together. "It doesn't matter. I'm not going to hurt you."

They became one body and he didn't hurt her. It did hurt at first, but she knew it wasn't him _hurting _her, it was him _loving _her. There was a difference.

-*-

"Mm-nurgh." Hermione stretched and made a half-yawn half-snort. She brushed her hair away from her face, wriggled her legs into a longer stretch,

"Hi, beautiful." A voice from the end of the bed called. Mione's eyes struggled into focus to see a semi-naked Draco Malfoy beaming down at her, she frowned. Draco crawled across the bed and reached to stroke her hair, leaning for a kiss; she almost went with it.

"Mm-but-No!" She pushed him away suddenly, scrambling into sitting position and dragging the covers with her, almost completely dislodging him from the over-squishy bed. Hermione scanned the room desperately, in slight panic, for her under wear, her t-shirt, her anything that she could wear. "Where the crap are my pants?- oh god!" She moaned. Draco thrust out a hand across the bed, pants clasped in his fingers. "oh god, thank you- no not- oh god." She pulled them on and then clutched the bedspread to her, gulping back the threatening tears (again).

"Hey, what's wrong? Don't freak out on me again."

"Oh so this was about stopping me freaking? That's it?" She demanded. Draco frowned,

"What the hell Hermione? No! You know that- what are you talking about?" He asked, taking a deliberate step back. She took a deep breath,

"Oh god." She whispered. "This isn't about…I just feel-horrible."

"Don't," Draco moved forward again, edging round the bed and facing her, "It's just me and you- I didn't plan this- but nothing went wrong, and I wanted you and- wasn't it what you wanted?" His eyes searched her face.

"No!" She blurted before she'd even thought, "I'm so confused. I feel…disgusting, got that? I'm disgusted with myself. That's three guys in 24hours. I have never felt so wrong and I just…Ron." She finished, her voice cracking, "What have I done to Ron? Me and him are so…" She couldn't think of an appropriate word.

Draco's face shut off. He picked up his shirt from the floor and pulled it on roughly, his eyes dark.

"You know something Hermione? I am sick to death of you and your feelings. You think it's only you who gets upset, you're the one feeling hard done by and used when, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, you're the user? I _cared _for you. You can play this scene on your own now, I am not picking up the pieces again." He turned smartly around,

"Oh!" She shrieked, "Oh I'm the user? I wasn't the one taking advantage, 'cause I know that's all it was." She yelled to his retreating back. And then, "Argh!" to the ceiling.

Slowly Hermione got dressed, scowling at the room. She left soon after- hating the place, and hoping she never went back.

-*-

She strode along the corridors, determined to just make it through today and then go back to nice, uncomplicated lessons tomorrow. Hermione stopped at the junction of two corridors, torn between going on and up to the common room, or going left and down and heading straight outside. Lavender made up her mind for her, she was coming up from outside with Parvati and they caught sight of Hermione; she groaned inwardly, _just what I need right now. _

"Hermione where _have _you been all day? You've got no idea what you missed."

"What?" Her reactions were slow, her brain somewhere else. Parvati gave her a look but she was stood behind Lavender's rather excited personality and Hermione couldn't interpret it.

"Hermione, where have you been?" Lavender insisted, one hand on her hip.

"Erm, around…" She searched for a legitimate elaboration that didn't involve Draco Malfoy in any way. "I just, I needed some fresh air and cool off time, then I had a lot of work- just a quiet day really. Why? What's happened?"

"Well…"She paused for effect and winked, "I will tell you absolutely every tiny detail but, not until we're back in the common room. I seriously need a comfy seat to tell this one." Lavender strode past her, smothering Mione's face with hair that had been jammed into an ultra-curly side pony tail. Hermione said nothing but walked alongside Parvati. She waited until Lavender was distracted and talking to herself up ahead, then Parvati spoke,

"Harry and Ginny had a huge fight 'cause Harry accused her of cheating when he saw her coming out of a room alone with Seamus. Then Cho heard the argument and started up at Ginny because Ginny had been having a go at Padma for going with Seamus because she said he was a man whore. Then Padma had a go at Ginny too. Then Ginny snapped back and said that Cho wasn't so innocent because before now she's been with Harry _and _Seamus, only Cho never told Padma about Seamus- so that kicked off. It's been a night mare."

"Screwed up much?" Hermione commented sarcastically.

"Oh yes and-" At this point Lavender stopped and swung round.

"And that's only the half of it. This bit is _my _news. So I tried to find Draco, he wasn't anywhere yesterday night and then when I finally found him this morning he was carrying breakfast." Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"Anti-climax, a little bit Lav." She pointed out, looking from Lavender to Parvati and back again. Lavender sighed dramatically,

"You seem so intelligent in class Hermione but you're awfully slow sometimes. He was clearly taking breakfast to another girl in the castle, which is obviously trying to make me jealous. Or there's the slight possibility he's taking it to another girl because he slept with another girl, and I'm ready for that- but he needs to be straight with me, he can break my heart but he has to do it fair." Hermione felt herself losing the will to live; Lavender really did live in another world. "He made a commitment and-"

"What commitment?" She couldn't resist interrupting, but tried to keep her voice steady and leave the frustration inside herself.

"Well you know, not a spoken commitment as such but when…" Lavender was always putting on amateur dramatics, they'd got used to it. She sighed theatrically, "When you share so much with someone, even for a fleeting time, you have an obligation to trust."

"Not really." Hermione muttered.

"What do you mean?" Lavender rounded on her.

"Could just be a casual shag, there's such thing you know." She hadn't meant it to slip out, but it did.

"Excuse me?" Lavender's voice raised an octave, "What's that supposed to mean Hermione?" Her eyes snapped up and she stammered, calculating a way to back track and minimize the damage, she didn't feel up to a fight just now.

"Well I just, I mean, for some people. If he is one of those people, I don't know- how would I know- I don't know him…at all. But then you like him, so maybe he's not like that. Maybe it was to make you jealous. _Or_" She was struck by sudden inspiration, and a way out. "Maybe he's just the brooding, lonely type, and he wanted some peaceful time alone to eat breakfast by himself." That did it, Lav's eyes lit up again.

"You're probably right. He's very dreamy,"

-*-

Hermione and Harry sat at opposite ends of the bench in the small corridor adjacent to the one leading to the Hufflepuff common room.

"This is the most out of the way spot I could think of," She told him quietly.

"Yeah." They remained silent then, for a good few minutes, each staring at the same brick wall, laid in the same pattern, but each of them miles away.

"This is a mess."

"Yeah."

"You need to forgive Ginny you know." Harry didn't say anything and Hermione looked at him sidelong, he avoiding her gaze, shrugging his shoulders. "She probably didn't do it."

"She says she didn't."

"It would solve a lot of problems if she didn't. Because then you could forgive Ginny, Padma and Cho could stop hating her because she was never a hypocrite and then it would just be between Padma and Cho." Harry almost smiled.

"This is a mess." Harry stood, "Come with me?" She nodded and rose too, they walked along together slowly, but Hermione's heart was pounding. She felt like a traitor. And she really, really, didn't want to face Ron.

They re-congregated with the others in the common room. The group was spread out around the room, mostly interspaced with evil glares and whispers behind hands. Ron saw Hermione and a smile lit up his face. As Harry moved towards Ginny, so Ron did to Mione. The others seemed to fade, Hermione shuffled awkwardly.

"How you feeling?" Ron searched her face, Hermione looked up at him.

"Ok, better. I had some alone time, got myself together and…I'm sorry." She whispered. Ron ran a hand through her hair with one hand.

"Me too." Their hands interlocked by their side and they turned to survey the scene where Harry and Ginny were talking, close by, and the others had dispersed somewhat to allow them some alone time. Ginny's voice faded back into Hermione's consciousness.

"Harry, you _know _I wouldn't cheat on you, ever. I was just talking to Seamus, I was apologizing for calling him a man-whore, well," She cast a scathing look behind her, "I was until I found out he'd only been with Cho the week before he got with Padma." Harry sighed,

"This isn't about them."

"No it's not." Ginny admitted, "I haven't cheated on you Harry, I wouldn't ever lie to you." Hermione gulped quietly, wishing she could say the same. Harry looked at Ginny for a long while, and she didn't break his gaze. Eventually he smiled.

"Sure. I'm sorry. I wouldn't ever lie to you either," Hermione's heart began to pound. Harry leant and kissed Ginny on the lips, "A new start then, no secrets between us."

"None." Ginny affirmed with a smile. And as she watched them, really very happy for them, Hermione had no intention of spoiling anything. But it's funny how the truth has a habit of resurfacing, at really inappropriate times,

"H-Harry and I kissed." She stammered quietly. She was dimly aware of Ron dropping her hand and the room falling silent.

The truth has a life of its own. And it will come out, even when you don't want it to.


	9. Obligatory Hate

**Author's Note: _I hope you like it and enjoy the relationships developing. _****please review! xox**

Harry turned slowly around, his despairing eyes hit Hermione and she instantly felt extremely guilty. But she hadn't done it, it was the Truth; it had just spilt out of its own accord.

"You said no secrets." She whispered in her feeble defense, "So yeah, no- secrets- anymore are there?" Before Harry could reply Ginny took a forceful step between them.

"You were just going to leave that were you?" She rounded on Harry,

"Well I- look what was I supposed to do? It didn't mean anything."

"That makes it so much better. Especially after you've spent the last eighteen or so hours accusing me of cheating. That's bloody rich!" She yelled at him. Harry opened his mouth and then closed it again, she was right. "Bitch." Ginny hissed at Hermione and stalked over to stand with Lavender, who was looking daggers at her. Hermione knew she must be loving the scandal, because if there was one thing she loved more than people talking about her and knowing she was involved in some outrage, it was talking about other people and knowing they were. Hermione stared blankly ahead at Harry's left shoulder, feeling it was as safe a place as any to rest her gaze. Harry spoke quietly,

"I think it's your turn Ron." His voice was dull. Ron ground his teeth for a moment, Hermione could practically feel the heat from his powerful rage radiating onto her back,

"I've got nothing- got that?- nothing to say, to either of you." Harry nodded, suggesting this reasonable request was all he could take right now, even though Hermione knew he must be dying inside to shake his friend and beg for him not to hate him. Ron glared momentarily before he left towards the boys' stair case. Hermione decided the only thing that made sense was to do the same. At the bottom of their stair case Parvati stepped deliberately into Hermione's path,

"You've really screwed everything up Mione." She told her. Hermione stared straight at the uneven brickwork.

"Anything else?" She asked sarcastically. Paravti shook her head in disgust and stepped back out of the way, allowing Hermione access to somewhere a bit quieter.

All Hermione really wanted to do was sleep. She looked down at her bed and groaned, seeing all her half finished work scattered across it, that she needed to move before she could sink into a self-shameful night's rest. She laid her eyes, just by chance, across her almost perfect History of Magic essay and open, page down, on the bed next to it was Malfoy's book.

"That's it." She muttered, picking up the essay and sweeping the book into the same hand, carelessly losing the page. She scattered her school studies across the floor as she swung around but she didn't even care. Hermione stormed from the room. She strode straight across the common room, barely even feeling the glares, and out into the corridors. She kept on going down, as down as she could go, until she found Malfoy wandering a first floor corridor on the way to the dungeons by the looks of it.

"Bastard!" She screeched, before she'd even got close. He stopped and swung round, his face incredulous,

"Oh joy of all joys, what do you want Granger?"

"You can have your sodding book back." She yelled

"Ow!" She was a few feet away when she hurled the heavy old book with two hands, it smacked Malfoy squarely in the chest and slithered to rest at his feet, pages bending at odd angles.

"I didn't need or want it anyway." She brandished the essay, half crumpled in her fist, like a lethal weapon, "And this! This you can take and shove it-" She tore it in half, much to his confusion and dismay, but the tearing sound was oddly satisfying to her tired brain, "up" She tore it again "Your" and again "arse!" She finished, throwing the fragments of her parchment to the floor dramatically and stamping on them for good measure, grinding them into the floor. She flung her hair back from her face dramatically and flounced away. Draco called after her, unfortunately,

"This isn't about the essay Granger. It's because we slept together…" She didn't even turn around, just made a very rude hand gesture down the corridor at him. "It's because you actually care and you can't admit it. Weasley can't make you feel the way I do and you hate it- you hate yourself!" He screamed after her ever-smaller figure. It took him a while before he noticed how choked he'd become, he was physically incapable of continuing because he knew, and hated, that he'd cry.

Hermione was shaken by what Draco had said. She'd heard every word, though she'd pretended to be indifferent, and she thought he was being ridiculous. Where had all that jealousy suddenly spurted from? He didn't care about her, he'd used her, more than once, and he'd done things with other girls and on top of that he was a Death Eater in training. He was ridiculous. Now, finally, with the portrait nearing her at the end of the corridor, she could go to sleep.

-*-

Unusually reluctantly Hermione trudged with the rest of her line of classmates into her history classroom. Normally she'd be at the front of the line, and if not bouncing in, then at least entering the classroom with more enthusiasm than the entire rest of her classmates put together- but not today. She slumped into her seat at the front of the drafty old room and let her head fall straight into her open hands.

"Right then," Professor Binns drifted into their attention, "As you know, your final individual thesis is due in today, I shall now come round to each of you and collect it in. I expect you have all had it finished for a deal of time now so I shan't hesitating in marking them and letting you know of your final grade. Remember the other half is dependant on your exams." He began to glide forward; Hermione was already resigned past the point of panic but she wished she didn't sit so much in the view of everyone. "Ah Miss Granger-"

"I can explain, I just need-" She began to gable her excuse for the fact the her parchment was scattered across the floor of a corridor somewhere rather than in her hand ready to get full marks.

"There's nothing to explain, an essay handed in early is still perfectly acceptable."

"I…" Hermione was stumped, what on earth? "What? Sorry I- what?" She spluttered, staring up at her teacher and checking for signs of any befuddlement charm.

"Miss Granger, honestly have you been drinking? The roll of parchment with your name on, on my desk, and I've read through it by the way it looks very good, I presume that is yours?" He suddenly became stern, peering down at her with ghostly eyes.

"I- I-" She stammered, but as she glanced through her professor the neatly rolled parchment, and she was sure it was the same parchment, was sat there, just as he had said. She snapped into action "Yes! Of course it's mine, ob-obviously but I just wanted to, is it ok if I quickly check it over, just once more."

"Of course, of course, deary me Miss…" He drifted along to the next student, ethereal hand stretching out to take the work.

Hermione's chair scraped on the stone floor as she rose from the desk. Slowly, dream-like, she edged towards the scroll of work balanced on the over flowing desk. She picked it up and unrolled it, the seal had already been broken. Sure enough the rough paper had her name written on the top right hand corner, where she'd written it prematurely a few days ago, to stop the likes of Fred and George sweeping it up and claiming it for their own. The whole essay was perfect, except for one slight notch in the paper, half way down on the left. She checked over her shoulder for anyone watching and then peered very closely; she could see where she'd first ripped the paper, and someone's repairing spell hadn't been able to completely conceal it. Then she ran her eyes right down to the end where her conclusion should finish at the beginning of a sentence, about two thirds of the way done. Hermione gave a sharp in take of breath. It was complete, at least, the sentence continued, but not in her hand writing. It was a good imitation but slightly messier, the S's came out more skewed and the capital letters didn't match hers exactly, but as she read through the train of thought matched exactly- _creepy! _It was uncanny.

"Did you find what you were looking for Hermione?" Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin as the professor spoke right in her ear. Being a ghost gave him added sneaking-up advantage. Hurriedly she rolled the sheet back up again and handed it over without hesitation,

"Yes thanks. It's just perfect." She muttered the last to herself musingly. Was this really who she thought it was? There was no way it could be anyone else.

-*-

Leaning against the edge of the Quiddich stands, at the Slytherin end unusually, Hermione kept her arms tightly folded, but soaked up the evening sun, enjoying herself just a little. Eventually Draco sidled up but kept his distance, starng mutinously toward the horizon. He was still in his Quiddich boots and tight trousers (Hermione always mocked Harry's 'leggings') but had changed out of robes into a clean, white tshirt.

"What was that?" She asked him bluntly, and didn't need to elaborate before he knew what she meant.

"Peace offering." He returned, "Besides you worked too hard at that essay to throw it away to get your moment with me."

"My moment?" She was incredulous.

"Yeah, your moment of revenge, or hate, or self-assurance, maybe you just wanted to hurt me? Whatever it was, it's not worth throwing away that much for, two thirds of your final grade in one of your billion subjects, or whatever."

"Half." Hermione corrected him. "Thanks." Rather grudgingly, "But it's a shame you didn't think that about mine and Ron's relationship."

"That you worked too hard to throw it all away?" Now his head spun round to meet her gaze in disbelief, "You are thick Granger. You haven't put any work into that relationship at all, you didn't work too hard and then get it ruined- but you think you did- because I don't know if you've ever worked hard at anything in your life, if I'm honest. You've got it so damn easy. You've always been clever, you're a natural at magic, so although you say you work hard- you really don't, it's all there already, it's no effort, you just have to put pen to paper. And family life, I bet you've never struggled, or worked for money for that matter- oh- I take that back, I've never had to work either. But you've never had to work for friendship, or acceptance or to get guys to like you. It's all just given to you, and still you whine like you're the victim in this sorry little play. You're not." Hermione was startled by his sudden outburst. And then suddenly hurt, as his words sunk in; she colored up.

"How dare you?" She shrieked, "You can't talk to me like that, you don't even know me- just stay away from me if that's what you think." She turned smartly around and walked away, taking giant strides to create more distance between them. He disgusted her.

Malfoy watched her figure go, again, and then wondered why on earth he felt obliged to point out her many, many, faults every time he saw her? Was it really necessary? It wasn't like he needed more hate from anyone.


	10. The Lost Cat Girl

**Author's Note: **_Hope it was worth the wait, i really do :) Sorry i'm so busy!! This will be finished soon though :O i predict about 13 chapters, maybe a few less maybe a few more! **please review :) **_

Mione had never been so lost as to where to go at Breakfast. She couldn't sit with Harry, that wouldn't help either of their situations, and she wasn't even sure he'd let her; she couldn't sit with Ron because he hated her and the same for the girls, and as for Malfoy- well she'd never sit with him anyway. She pretended to search in her bag for something as she waited by the double doors, slightly daunted by the prospect of being totally alone, but it was no use, she couldn't search forever. Eventually Hermione took one last look at the throbbing crowd and felt nauseous. She turned to go and slunk into the ground floor corridor, straight into the first classroom, sinking thankfully onto the cold, stone window seat. _This has to end soon, how much more messed up can it get? There's got to be a simple answer to all this. _Her mind raced as she pressed her forehead against the cold glass. The door of the classroom opened a fraction, she wished she could vanish into thin air,

"Party?" It was Padma.

"What? How did you know I was here?" Padma took a step inside.

"I'm not taking sides here. We've all screwed up a bit, so we're having an official forgetting party- to stop us all killing each other before the end of term." She added glumly, "I followed you out at Breakfast, Ginny spotted you."

"This is going to be a cheery party." Hermione muttered sarcastically, not looking up.

"Nothing's ok." Padma admitted, "But the Hufflepuffs want one, so we ought to go. What the hell? We're young, let's just get drunk and forget." Hermione half smiled,

"A month ago I'd have thought that was such a good idea. Now I think the solution isn't that simple, is it?" Padma shrugged, she wasn't big on the problem sharing.

"Well tonight at 11 in the Hufflepuff common room if you want to come." She left quickly without any friendly goodbye, just the cold offer.

The dormitory was icily quiet as the girls moved among each other getting dressed and made up, Lavender was the only one stupid enough to think talking was ok,

"I wonder if Draco will be there tonight?" Hermione couldn't hold her tongue, what was the point anyway?

"I hope not." She shot back. Lavender spun round, mascara wand brandished like a lethal weapon.

"What? Why do you care?" She noticed Ginny look sidelong at her, eyes narrowed. Mione blushed and looked down at the two tops she was holding, pretending to be seriously considering her outfit.

"He's just vile Lav, that's all." She replied reluctantly, "But if you want him to be there, I guess that's fine." The room continued quietly and Lavender nodded her head decisively,

"I do."

Hermione dropped the tshirts and pulled off her jeans, changing her mind to a dress. She pulled out her only little-black-dress and slipped it on carefully, minding her nicely curly hair, and wriggled it down into position on her hips. Ginny raised her eyebrows,

"That extra effort for anyone in particular?" She asked pointedly, taking a threatening step forwards.

"Me." Hermione challenged. Ginny looked seething as she rummaged for a bag in her and Hermione's usually-shared bag pile.

"Just stay away from Harry, you got that?" Hermione nodded definitely.

"No problem." Snatching up a cardigan and pair of shoes, "It's ok, you can all breathe again, I'm leaving the room." Hermione added bitingly as she did her best attempt at a storm out across the hopelessly cramped floor space.

She moved sharp-ish across the common room and down a few flights of stairs, she knew she'd be early to the party- not their usual fashionable-half-hour-late- but she couldn't help that; being on your own for any long stretch of time is more difficult than it looks.

Tentatively Hermione crossed the ground floor corridor and entered the dark, over heated, common room. It was comfy to be alone in here, for a while at least, because you didn't feel alone. Hermione was bashed from all sides by bodies moving to the deafening music, she pitied the first years in their adjoining rooms, it wasn't often that the Hufflepuffs let rip, but when they did they were awfully fond of their heavy-metal. She moved in for the drinks tables and plunged her hand through the maze of other arms, she couldn't really see what she was going for but she took the first cup she could clasp her fist around and dragged it back to reunite with her body. She took a long slug, and wasn't surprised by the slight warmth to it, the room was boiling.

After a few more minutes of pretending to be too engrossed in the music and drink to care, Hermione started to feel fidgety; she couldn't go and stand with Harry and, although he and Ron were stood together, almost talking, she doubted very much whether Ron would be quick to forget what had happened. Ron looked up. Hermione froze, doe eyed for a minute, then hurriedly looked at the floor, swiftly side-stepping a stray, frantic cat, clearly desperate to escape the noise. She felt like the lost cat.

"Hermione." She looked up, astonished. Because it was definitely Ron's voice, and that was definitely Ron's face and body- but those things made no sense, because he shouldn't be talking to her.

"Um I- I'm drinking. I have a drink." Her brain popped out the door with the cat and Hermione was reduced to only being able to state the obvious, she cringed. "I um- hi."

"Hi." Ron smiled a little, enjoying her falling to pieces. One of the multiple bodies that was sharing her personal space jumped a little to hard to the music; her drink slopped all down her side. "Wanna dance?" Ron hadn't noticed Hermione dripping with warm, sticky, alcoholic beverage and merely stared at her eyes. She was more than a little preoccupied but still her brain was ringing _he still likes you, why does he still like you? Do something, you're going to lose your dream guy forever! _

"I'd love to." She smiled widely, "Can I- I'm just going to clean up." She mimed the spilling of her drink, and conveniently provided a live demonstration as she spilt some more, just in case he'd been in any doubt. Ron nodded, still smiling just a little.

Hermione wormed her way towards the door, hoping to get some breathing space and go in search of bathrooms on this floor.

Hermione ended up right out in the entrance hall to get out of the way of the noise. The main doors were open because it was so warm in the castle tonight, and she could see the moon half-heartedly poking itself around a thick cloud, she sighed and watched it for a while.

"Thinking much?" A voice joked. Hermione spun round, artfully spilling what was left in her cup. It was Draco; of course it was Draco, he was always where she didn't need him to be right now.

"No actually." She threw back. He was sat on the second stair up of the main stair case, looking out of the doors. She took a chance, while they weren't yelling at each other, and went to join him, stepping gingerly up the steps in her heels and placing her cup on the step below her. "You?"

"Not much." He replied, not looking at her.

"Liar" Hermione's eyes traced his jaw line.

"Yeah." She twisted her hands in her lap.

"Sorry if I flew off at you-"

"No, no!" Draco interrupted swiftly, "I shouldn't have judged, it occurred to me that I barely know you at all." Hermione nodded.

"I thought I knew you, all there was to know," She pointed out fairly, "But you're a lot more than everyone thinks."

"I'm not just a Death Eater's Lackey if that's what you mean." She nodded in agreement. Now Draco turned to her, "And you're not just Potter's tag along."

They were silent for some time. Until finally he broke the stillness again,

"So now we know what we didn't know about each other, what do we know?" Hermione laughed,

"I like to read." She mumbled, "So do you."

"Good start…" Draco said, shuffling so he was sat at an angle, almost facing her, but not invading her space. When he realized she wasn't going to continue he smiled and looked into the distance, "I sing Beach Boys when I'm drunk,"

"I played violin for four years, I hate all sport, and I once micro-waved Iced Tea and added milk to see if it went like normal tea." Draco snorted and then full-on laughed, Hermione joined him, feeling alive to be able to laugh once more.

"Did it work?" He spluttered,

"Safe to say I wont be trying it again." She nodded firmly and the giggles lapsed; then Hermione realized she was enjoying this.

"I…" Draco continued, pausing to muse for a second, "My feet are weirdly long and I have a cool sock fascination, but I _hate _my hands. And I can't roll my tongue."

"Oh body secrets now?" Hermione raised her eyebrows, flirting just a little with her eyes. "My hands are worse, look at their chubbiness." She held them out and wriggled her short fingers. Draco laughed,

"I'll give you that, they're not piano fingers." Mock frowning, Mione continued,

"Yeah well…I can roll my tongue." She did so. "And I have a birth mark on the back of my neck which is shaped like Italy." Draco cocked his head to one side and she rolled her eyes, scooping her unruly hair from her neck and leaning round so he could see.

"I see the resemblance." He smiled, and opened his mouth, a pondering frown in place, to tell her something else,

"Oi Dray!" A loud, gritty, voice thundered across the entrance hall. "Come outside mate, we gotta show you some'in." Both of them shot up off the stairs and Draco took a convulsive step downwards. The larger Slytherine looked between them weirdly and Hermione hurriedly picked up her cup, hoping that she might get away with talking to him if she was 'drunk'.

"I'm there." Draco replied gruffly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The anonymous 'guy' left the building, leaving the door open. "See you later." He muttered, a little apologetically to Hermione, she shrugged,

"I should-" Jerking a thumb behind her she looked at the floor and swallowed, "yeah, see you later."

The room, if possible, had even more people in it than before. Carefully slipping her way through the throng Hermione singled out Ron from across the room and smiled a bit, he was stood near to Cho and Luna, watching the room nonchalantly. She edged up and tapped his shoulder, somewhat nervous. Ron jumped.

"Oh hey." He grinned, "You took a while,"

"Yeah, I sort of misplaced the bathrooms." She lied.

"Oh Mione, you are silly." He gazed at her fondly, a little sadly. Hermione was confused, the best the she could think of, rather than try and answer that look with any that made any sense, was just to change the subject. Taking a deep breath she asked,

"Want to have this dance then?" He nodded, enthusiastically.

They stepped about half a metre forward together and started to dance; Mione was rusty and self-conscious. But it all slipped away the second Ron placed a hand on her waist, just for a second, as they moved, and then she remembered she loved to dance and she loved hanging out with Ron; it was going to be ok.

They rocked together for at least three songs, each blending perfectly into the next. They couldn't talk because of the music but they looked at one another and smiled a lot, Hermione hadn't felt so oddly relaxed and cool in a good while as her arms encircled Ron's neck. His touch was light, non-committal, and his smile was interesting. Hermione leaned towards it, curiously, then reached inwards, her neck straining to make her lips find his. He looked dazed, happy, almost oblivious and so ready to go along with it, she was a fraction of a centimeter away when he realized what he was doing,

"Woah!" Gently he pulled her arms free of his neck, dodging her lips skillfully. "Hermione slow down." She took a step back, and ran a hand through her hair, frowning,

"Oh, what was I thinking? I'm sorry I thought- I just thought you wanted-" He looked at her seriously and indicated to the door, she nodded vigorously, her head conflicting on so many levels- some she was sure she couldn't even begin to think about. They finally squeezed into the dark, cool, corridor. "I'm so sorry, it was just going so well, I was having a good time, I just lost it, I-"

"It's ok," Ron cut through her spluttering, tentatively. "I just," He gave a long slow exhale, "Oh Hermione- you just broke my heart, I mean, completely cut me up- my best friend! And now, everything isn't just magically better. I wanted to make up, I still do I just…" She looked at the floor, blushing scarlet, _damn it girl. _"Look, I need to take things slowly, ok?"

"Sure." Mione replied quietly. "I'm sorry, it just seemed like I could kiss you and things seemed normal, you know?"

"Sort of," He admitted, "But things wont be normal for a while, you know that right? I just need some time, I can't just let you back like that. I just need…"

"Time." Hermione nodded, taking deep breaths. "Ron I'm really sorry." She pleaded.

"Hey," He threw her a soft smile, "Don't be. Just let things be cool, can you manage that?" His brow knit now, concerned, questioning,

"Sure." She forced a smile, "It's all good here." She didn't really mean it, nothing was really good, she was confused, and a little not confused- which was confusing. But he seemed to buy it.

"Coming back in?"

"No, I'm gonna take a few minutes." She replied, and he nodded, turning away and heading back. She missed her best-friend-Ron, the one she could get a hug from when she was down or lost.

"That looked intense." It was Draco again, who had clearly come round the corner during the exchange and not wanted to interrupt. Hermione took a minute to respond, her breathing quickened, her eyes trained up to his across the stone floor. "Hermione…" He frowned.

"You never finished." She told him quietly, shaking a bit. "The game, we didn't finish, tell me something else about you." He looked taken aback, but he took a step forward,

"I don't like fish, and I hate cooking."

"Me too, my favorite cake is carrot cake."

"When I'm older I want a boat." They stepped closer again, hurriedly exchanging facts as though they were life-saving information.

"Tell me something real, please?"

"What?" Hermione looked at him, but he wasn't as confused as he was making out.

"Real Draco, like…like…we haven't been saying anything, real. Like…" She stepped up to him, he was closer than she expected as she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him, dying to feel his lips collide with hers.

There was an explosion deep in the corners of her mind as he kissed her back enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around her tiny body. There was nothing wrong as they kissed, swallowed senseless by enjoyment. Then they parted, slowly, one of Draco's hands on the back of Hermione's neck. They looked at each other for a long, sweet second, holding each other's gaze, noses touching softly, smiles playing on the corners of both mouths. But ever so slowly the smiles began to fade.


	11. Dream Guys!

**Author's Note: **_I think this is gonna be the second to last chapter :D I think, but then my stories always surprise me. What is going on with Hermione? Can you stand the tension? What's she's going to do to clear this mess up? :) ****__Love you all please review!_

"Oh this is all kinds of bad." Hermione took a jerky step backwards. "Damn it." She gesticulated uselessly, looking everywhere except at Draco.

"I'm sorry." He muttered gruffly, "I only came to see if you needed to talk, I didn't really expect that and now- argh!" He cried, slamming his fist into the nearest bit of stone wall. Hermione flinched. "You'd better go back and make things right with….Wea-Ron." He waved a shaking hand in the direction of the party, making to go.

"Draco," He didn't turn around. Hermione bit her lip, it shouldn't be difficult like this. "Draco please," Still nothing, "Dray!"

She was left alone. The corridor echoed her thoughts back and forth as she turned for the party. Then she changed her mind, very, very quickly. Hermione turned and ran; the sound of the party hurt her ears even from a distance, her head was throbbing and she felt drunk; drunk and sick. She made it all the way to the third floor on shaky legs before she crashed into a bathroom.

Hermione staggered forward and clutched at a china basin, it felt cold and refreshing to her clammy hands. Then she wretched, leaning forward and heaving again as she heard her own sick splatter against the sides of the bowl. She heard footsteps behind her but didn't dare turn her head sharply, lest the dizziness make her sick again. A skillful hand scooped the sticky locks from the back of her neck and waited patiently as she breathed heavily, still looking down but with blurry vision. The other hand swept forward and rested coolly against her forehead for a moment, she knew those hands and their smell and was grudgingly grateful. Mione shivered and loosened her grip on the sink,

"Ok, I think you're done." Draco's voice told her softly, and steered her away and out of the bathrooms.

"Thanks." Hermione half whispered, focusing on her shaky walk and re-adjusting sight. "Do you follow me often?" She added, a touch of her usual feisty annoyance back.

"You _did_ call me back." Draco pointed out as they stopped in the corridor, "It just took me a while to realize I wanted to come back- hey, here we go." He noticed her sway and gently lowered her down to sitting position in the empty hallway. "But I can go if you want." He was only half teasing.

"No," Although she didn't want to admit it. "Don't. God I feel disgusting," She shivered again, "I hate how gross I feel after I'm sick, I just feel clammy and horrible and…you probably don't need too much information while you're sharing my personal space, huh?" He chuckled softly,

"This'll help, if I just…" He cleared his throat awkwardly and gently combed through her damp hair with his fingers, bringing it all together and then pulling it over her shoulder, passing it to her. Hermione held it, bemused, and Draco placed his cool hands on the back of her bare neck lightly,she felt shivers down her spine, after resting them there a minute he began to move them, in a gentle massage across her neck and shoulders, pushing her sleeves a little out of the way. The cold, soft skin made Hermione's whole body feel better, cleaner somehow. She breathed a rattling sigh of relief. When he was done Hermione had closed her eyes for a full minute, and just breathed, it was a long time since she'd been that relaxed. Draco gently prized her hair from her absent hand and smoothed it back into place. "Better?" He offered.

"Much."

"So um," Draco stood up and moved in front of her, looking down as she craned her neck to him, "I didn't want to have to say this, I thought it would have sort itself by now but…You know you have a choice Mione?"

"Excuse me?" She blushed,

"You heard me. You know what I mean." She looked away,

"Don't make me do this,"

"If I don't someone else will. You can either sort things out with Weasley or-"

"I know the other choice." She cut across him brutally, not wanting to hear spoken aloud what was quietly dwelling in the back shadows of her mind.

"And?" Now she looked back up at him and Draco felt his whole body tingle at the sight of those wide brown eyes boaring straight through him.

"You know I can't answer that now. I need to, I think, I need to sort my life out. Get everything straight and back on track, friendship wise, and, well, in-my-head-wise. Can you wait?" He paused, and turned to go,

"Yeah, I've got nothing to lose I suppose." But inside his heart was racing because he had everything to lose, and it could all happen so quickly. If he stayed, he might blow it again.

Hermione barely slept that night, and it was shortly after dawn that she removed herself from the sofa, where she'd stayed all night, to gaze out of the window. Everything was grey outside, but it was oddly uplifting. The news that she had a choice had come as a shock, but then she knew it wasn't all that much of a choice. There was only one way she'd get her friends back and keep them.

Hermione crept up the boys' stair case, loving the fact that she could and they couldn't climb up hers, and paused at the third door up. She rapped quietly three times, pause, three more times, paused and then knocked louder and once. Mione took a step back, hoping Harry had heard and remembered their knock. The door creaked open and a sleepy eyed Harry peered out reluctantly.

"Hermione-" His voice had a warning tone, made harder by tiredness,

"Just give me ten minutes Harry." Her eyes pleaded for her and he shrugged.

"Alright," grudgingly. "I don't forgive as easily as Ron though, you know that." She nodded vigorously, knowing that somehow she had to win her best friend back.

They wandered down to the common room, ambling towards the window seat where they sat, slowly, Harry looking out into the distance, Hermione searching his face.

"The truth is better." She told him, "I know- ha- better than anyone, that you can't start a good relationship based on lies." She added bitterly, and then as an afterthought, "And Ginny forgives you anyway."

"I know. That's because she loves me Hermione." He replied honestly.

"So if Ron forgives me…" She began slowly,

"He does love you." Harry assured her, now looking at her face for a reaction, "But what's up with you? I thought you loved him back."

"This isn't about me."

"Well it's not about me," Hermione turned in surprise, Harry merely shrugged, "It was never about me Mione, I'm not cross with myself or Ginny am I? I'm cross with you, and it really is your problem. Sorry if that sounds harsh but, you _have _to sort things out with Ron, and the girls, because things wont be the same till you do. And then on top of that," Harry was in full swing now, but Hermione was glad, it was the first time she'd felt close to him in a while, "You need to sort yourself out. What happened between us was out of order, for both of us, but I've sorted it out. Have you?"

"Oh Harry, I really haven't let you in at all and, well, that's sort of because I can't. Things between me and you are sorted, that's not what the problem has been. I didn't tell Ginny the truth because I was struggling to deal, I told her the truth because I had to. The thing is…" How could she explain to him? "I like Ron, I really do, only I like someone else too."

"Who?"

"I can't say. Just…Harry, how do I know who I'm supposed to be with?"

"Not that hard actually." He thought for a moment, "It's the one you feel alive with, she- or in your case he- makes you laugh, and cry, and get really mad for no reason, but you never feel as brilliant as when you're around them, and when you kiss something really strong within you shifts- it's like an explosion the first time, and sometimes every time, you touch them." Hermione blushed,

"Is that how you feel with Ginny?" Harry laughed and blushed too,

"Pretty much, sometimes worse. It's mostly about the kiss though, the excitement when you know they're going to kiss you and-" He stopped and looked at her, "It's not Ron, for you, is it?" He realized.

"Bollocks." She muttered, "Maybe not…I know that when I first realized I liked him it was like I was on fire, how could I have been so stupid? You know? But now I'm starting to wonder if I just love him as a friend." Harry let out a long sigh,

"Oh boy….Well, not my place to interfere." He muttered, "Just give yourself some time to sort everything else out first. Once things are normal, then I forgive you."

"That's fair." Hermione nodded, "Does Ron forgive you?" She asked suddenly on impulse,

"Yeah, yeah he does actually." Harry replied, frowning as if wondering how on earth he deserved that. He got up and stretched, and headed back towards his dormitory without saying goodbye. Hermione didn't mind, she was deep in her own thoughts, although mostly she wished she wasn't.

Hermione stretched and rose. Then, with some trepidation, she stumbled her way towards the dormitory, hoping to find a moment to talk to Ginny alone. _Although, it may be safer to do it from behind a barricade, I don't feel like being blasted into oblivion today. _As she entered the room everything went quiet again, but less so than the last time she'd entered, which was definitely a plus. Luna, who was in the room anyway despite not being a Griffindor, even gave her a kind smile, which Hermione returned very enthusiastically, reaching out for friendship of any kind. She saw Ginny slink into the bathroom the second she entered.

Crossing the room at a quick pace Hermione caught the door before Ginny could slam it and slunk in behind her. Ginny fixed her gaze firmly on the mirror as Mione shut the door and examined her eyebrows closely, refusing to acknowledge Hermione's presence.

"Ginny I messed up, can you just give me another chance? We've been friends for-"

"Oh don't give me that." Ginny soon changed her policy on ignoring, "We've been friends for so long you shouldn't have tried to take Harry from me. I don't know why you did it, he doesn't think of you in that way, he never has." She felt no jealousy, but Ginny didn't know that,

"I don't like him in that way, at all, and I definitely never have."

"So why?" Ginny looked exasperated, "If you don't fancy him then tell me why the hell I cried myself to sleep over that kiss Hermione?" Hermione nodded glumly in response, everything had got so out of control.

"Tell me why Harry couldn't sleep the night before over you and Seamus?" Ginny blushed,

"I know I flirted."

"I know I stepped way out of line for comfort." The girls looked at each other. "Can we try and un-mess this then?" Hermione was tentative,

"I think we ought to. There's one thing I know can sort it Hermione. If we both get our dream guys. I think if we both get the guys we've been longing for all these years, then things will go right again- and the same goes for all of us." She nodded towards the door and Hermione half smiled,

"Yeah." But Ginny had no idea how much more she'd complicated things.


	12. So Close To Hate

**Author's Note: **_Trumpets, fanfare and drumroll please...it's finished! Tada! The final chapter of The Girl I Knew... I hope you like it, the last scene is the one i've had in my head from the start, it's what gave me the initial story idea. So please review, i know a lot of you don't like to review till the very end so i hope you do take the time to tell me if you liked it or not! :D I loved writing this, i'm very very very sad it's over though. I've kept you long enough...you guys have hugely supported me, thanks for everyone who's favourited or alerted or review...LOVE YOU..._

"Guuuyysss." Lavender whined on the way down to breakfast. None of the girls replied but that never put her off, "I know we technically hate Slytherins." Still no response apart from a general muttering, Hermione suddenly listened in ultra hard, but was disappointed with the solid 'yeah, we hate them, and what?' that seemed resound in the group. She didn't hate slytherins, not all of them- well- she didn't hate them all entirely anyway. "So you know, would you hate me if, for example, I was to like, I don't know, start dating Draco? After our little _fling,_" She lingered on the word, enjoying the sound of it immensely. Hermione felt an indescribable rage boiling within her, she clenched her fists and tried to bite her tongue, knowing speech was seriously unwise at this point. But her resolution lasted all of a stony minute.

"He'd never have you Lav." She burst out suddenly, making most members of the group at least turn their heads. Ginny's eyes narrowed,

"Mione," She looked at her and laid a hand on Lav's arm, even though she knew- Hermione _knew _she knew- that Lavender was faking emotion; she didn't really love Draco, she was just attracted to him because he was a 'bad boy'.

"Yes, Hermione." Lavender threw back up the stairs as they began their descent. "Why exactly do you think he wouldn't? Aren't I good enough for him?" _No, no you're not. _Hermione wanted to yell back, but she took a deep breath.

"He'd never have anyone Lav, he doesn't care about anyone, it's him that's not good enough for you. That's what I meant." She mumbled the last phrase, sounding less than sincere but hoping no one noticed.

"Yes but he has _had _me. He would have me, I know it." Hermione sighed, she wouldn't sway Lav's conviction, or maybe it was dillusion. "Anyway, the point was, would you guys mind if I dated him?"

"Mind?" Ginny snorted.

"I think," Parvati cut in before Ginny worked herself into a rant; you could always tell when Ginny was going to rant because it happened so frequently. "What Ginny's getting at is, well, we wouldn't exactly disown you, but we wouldn't be best pleased. I mean he's just not…" She searched around for the words. Hermione could have told her how to end that sentence…_in love with you. He's just not in love with you, Lav. _"Nice. He's not a nice person, he wont be nice to you Lavender and he wont be nice to us, so we're not exactly going to welcome him with open arms. But I suppose we wouldn't stop talking to you. It'd be weird though." She added for good measure.

It made Hermione's heart sink slightly hearing that speech from Parvati, not that she's ever go out with Malfoy anyway, she thought, but the slight possibility of them being friends, when she finally made things right with Ron, had just been wiped out. Draco wouldn't be friends anyway, and she knew it, just like she knew she'd choose Ron now- her dream guy- like Ginny had said. _God, this would all have been simpler if I'd just gone down to the lake not stopped by the door… _They stepped down the last step into the entrance hall.

"Hermione." She spun round at Ron's voice.

"Ron!" She smiled

"I'm sorry if you feel like I had a go at you at the party. You know it's just-" She really didn't want to get back into this discussion again,

"I know, it's fine. It's all fine." She interjected quickly. "So um," She became aware of his hand resting on her arm.

"I was wondering if you want to hang out tonight?"

"Love to." She felt a slight bubble of warmth, somewhere down inside of her. "What are we doing?"

"We're having a massive chess tournament against the Ravenclaws, Fred and George are filching snacks and we're all going to hang out, Harry and Ginny are going to be there, I thought it'd be like old times again." She kept up her smile,

"Sounds great, really fun."

"Yeah? You wanna?"

"Count on it." He grinned, she grinned, then he squeezed her arm and walked in the opposite direction from the breakfast hall.

She waited, as the girls dispersed, mostly towards the breakfast tables, and then sighed. Her mind played over again the discussion with Harry, _if I just love him as a friend…_Was this really her ideal relationship? Games of chess in the common room with the 'old gang', well it sounded like fun- because it would be- but it was a friend thing, it wasn't something that really screamed 'romance' to her. But she could be romantic with Ron, couldn't she? She took another few, slow, steps towards the Great Hall and the Griffindor table, her thoughts still elsewhere, and then she noticed Lavender cross the room and cut in front of Draco Malfoy's path. Now she took a convulsive step or two forward to listen to the confrontation; Draco, she noticed, was obviously embarrassed.

"So I was just wondering if maybe me and you could…"

"Brown, I don't want a relationship with you." Draco put it very bluntly and she burnt crimson,

"God, you jerk, why are you like this to me? I was only going to ask if you wanted to eat breakfast together." Her voice was shrill. Draco looked like he'd rather eat breakfast with a Hungarian Horntail.

"I'm like this to you, because, frankly Brown, I don't like you at all. It was a mistake to ever go near you- I'm not even attracted to you."

"Oh Draayy," She purred, "Don't play."

"I'm not playing." He took a definite step back, his expression between disgust and amusement. And then he finished, very loudly, "The only reason I kissed you was because it was dark- I couldn't see who it was." Then he turned and left her, burning scarlet with anger, and strode from the breakfast hall. Hermione shrunk back, embarrassed for listening even though half the school had been listening, but thankfully he didn't see her.

She paused, oddly she didn't feel very hungry now, even though she ought to feel some kind of relief or happiness that Draco had saved himself- turned Lavender down- but she didn't, she felt an uncomfortable tightness growing in her stomach. Hermione turned from the hall and started walking diagonally towards the doors. As she passed the first class room she stopped and looked at the door, remembering how her and Draco had had their first conversation in that room, at least, their first non-abusive conversation.

She heard voices, a male and a female, from behind the door and looked around her furtively- she knew she shouldn't be nosey, but she couldn't help it. The door was open just a crack and she peered through to see Ron, and Luna, apparently deep in conversation.

"Luna, I really do love Hermione, I'm sorry."

"That's ok." She shrugged, but she sounded sad, "I know, it was just an idea."

"I just-" Ron reached out and awkwardly patted her arm, "Well you know, I'm sorry." She looked up at him and turned her head to one side, smiling,

"I'll always like you Ron, you're funny, and" She blushed, "you're cute too, and so nice. But it's nice, you like Hermione, that's ok. I knew that." She was so accepting, but Hermione wondered if she was hiding how upset she was- it didn't take a genius to see what was going on here, Luna had just asked Ron out.

"Yeah, thanks for understanding Lu," Ron was clearly awkward but he looked concerned, maybe sad, for Luna too. They began to move towards the door and Hermione jolted in surprise. She swept quickly the final distance across the entrance hall and scurried down the steps to the grounds, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping.

She couldn't help thinking, _maybe Ron deserves someone like Luna, who loves how funny he is and accepts everything about him and finds him really attractive- hey! Shut up brain, I do find him really attractive, we're good together. _Hermione knew something was wrong when she was getting jumpy and offensive in her own brain. Glumly, confusedly, she walked out towards the whomping Willow.

"What are you up to then Miss Granger." Without her even noticing Draco and slipped by her side to walk with her.

"Moping." She muttered, "My life's a mess. You?"

"Breathing." He replied, "I've just told Lavender where to stick it." They both laughed,

"I heard," She admitted, "Very impressive I might add." There was silence and Hermione knew she had to do it. "I'm, erm, I'm having a kind of date with Ron tonight."

"Oh really?" He sounded like he couldn't care less, but Draco glanced slyly sideward, checking her face, "Doing what?" Hermione wrinkled her nose,

"Chess game, like old times." Her voice was heavily sarcastic without even meaning to be.

"That sounds riveting." Draco snorted, and then became serious, "Is that it Hermione?"

"What do you mean 'is that it'?" She became indignant, and stopped walking to face him.

"I mean annoying, argumentative, passionate, fiery Hermione is going to waste her time dating someone who's idea of romantic is a chess game with mates in a rowdy common room. That's going to be it Hermione, don't you see? He isn't going to suddenly change into the guy you deserve- hell, the guy you want- he's not going to take you traveling so you can see the sunset over the Himalayas on a broom, or show you the Forbidden City, or the underground rivers in the mountains near Durmstrang, or the hidden fountain that only appears in a rainbow that you can see from the Sky-Climbers path that the first Magi's took millions of years ago…" He trailed off, suddenly fearful, "He wont do that for you Mione." Hermione gaped for a few moments, but before she could formulate an answer, "But I would."

"I can't!"

"Stop playing the victim Mione,"

"How dare you? I'm being honest here and you're not making it easy, and how dare you say that about Ron? You don't know him like I do." Her voice was raised now and Draco grew louder to make his point heard,

"But I know you."

"You think you do." Now he just glared at her, and she could finally say it, the thing that needed to be done- she knew they'd all be happier afterwards. "I choose Ron, Draco."

"You what?"

"I choose Ron, I chose him a long time ago, before all of this mess. I'm going into that hall, I'm going to hold Ron's hand and we're going to be together."

"Is this because of your friends?" He folded his arms, frowning at her.

"No," She was exasperated with everyone thinking they knew better than she did- she didn't know very well, but she knew better than them what was in her heart. "Ok, so they'd hate me if I went out with you, they'd disown me, and it'd be very miserable. But that isn't why. I choose Ron, goodbye Draco."

"But…"

Hermione turned and shook her head exaggeratedly so he would see it from behind her. Draco's gaze sunk to the ground moodily; so this was it. He felt dead inside because he knew he couldn't change her mind.

Walking faster and faster, trying to calm her heavy breaths, Hermione told herself she'd done the right thing. _If this was right, wouldn't you feel better right now? _But she couldn't answer that. It was Ron, she had chosen him so long ago before that stupid kiss…She stepped into the entrance hall and saw him, ginger hair flopping as he and Harry laughed, nearby to the girls as usual. A large mob of students were flowing from the great hall and spilling into the entrance hall before lesson, he was just by the stairs and Hermione felt a resolution settle into place that she was going to try her hardest to make this work. She began to push her way through the throbbing crowd, making for her almost-boyfriend.

"Hermione." She thought she heard her name, jerked her head and half turned around, "Hermione!" This time she knew she heard her name, half the entrance hall did; blushing she spun on the spot.

There was Draco, breathless and embarrassed at the top of the steps to the hall, silhouetted oddly by the morning light. She raised her eye brows but said nothing, feeling annoyed, really annoyed that he was going to embarrass her like this, but at the same time her heart was beating so fast, faster than ever before.

"Hermione you're an idiot." He called across the almost silent space. People were whispering or giggling, but he didn't care. "You make me so angry, and the way I feel about you is so damn close to hate it's unreal." She felt a sinking feeling, _where is this going? _"But you make me a better person. And if you walk across the hall now and be with him, then I'll get over it, I'll understand that you've chosen. But arguing with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and if you're the girl I thought I knew- no- the girl I _know_, then you wouldn't be walking across this hall to be with anyone, unless that someone was me. I love you." There were audible gasps, and outright laughter and some outbursts of horror- but Hermione heard nothing. She didn't need to decide anything- she'd chosen.

She crossed the floor easily, and grabbed the front of his robes, eyes alive with anger, and a little of something else.

"Draco- shut up." She kissed him and the world stopped, and at the same time it shifted- because they were kissing. She wanted to cry and shout and laugh- because they were kissing. It was like fire in her mind. And she felt so alive, all because she kissed him, she finally knew- because they were kissing- she knew what had been wrong for weeks. "I love you" She breathed, when she finally got the chance.


	13. Epilogue

_The much abridged first travels of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy_

"To my two best(est) friends,

I write this sat in a hotel in Paris. Ok it wasn't on our original list, but Draco insisted we make a weekend of it passing through. It's not at all where I thought he'd take me! It's quiet and really beautiful, I love just looking out of the window (as I am now) and feeling like some fantastic Parisian (muggle) 18th Century woman- I may even buy a corset (Draco would love that!). I'm kidding, I'm a corset free zone. I really miss you both already and it's only just begun. I promise I'm going to come back here and bring you along one day, I think you'd really appreciate Paris, and Ron, you'd appreciate the food if nothing else. We've met a few other witches and wizards here but not many, it's fairly low key, but there are a lot of Fleur-alikes floating around speaking very fast and fluttering their eyelashes at Draco; it makes me a little intimidated. Muggle shopping is great, but you guys wont care about the fashion side. It's pretty much the same temperature are England right now but I know I'm going to have to get my coat out pretty soon- we're heading north! I'm so excited. I will bring you back a French frog each, or something.

All my Love

Hermione"

"Draco are you sure this is legal?" Hermione raised her eyebrows uncertainly as the car pulled away down the winding Durmstrang drive. It had been awe striking inside, truly, it was much bigger than Hogwarts although everything seemed darker, somehow austere, even the paintings were foreboding. But everyone inside was welcoming and friendly, and there was a lot of strong, dark beer and noise, and roaring fires everywhere. In Hogwarts fires crackled benignly; here they had blazed. Hermione had also been pleased, if flustered, to run into her old flame Victor Krum. He was even more toned, if that was possible, and even taller and darker- coming complete with petite, dark, Russian girlfriend, who was friendly but totally unable to understand a word being said. Draco had hmmed and yawned until she finished the catch-up conversation. Now he merely leaned back lazily and stretched his arms, looking at the steering wheel turning itself, with amusement,

"I'm sure it's _il_legal. But if a muggle policeman pulls me over, what're they going to say "excuse me, do you know you get a fine if you let your car drive itself?" She burst out laughing in the passenger seat,

"No he'd say it in Bulgarian- _obviously!_"

"Ah, and that makes all the difference sweetheart." Hermione frowned once more and turned the map yet another 45 degrees; now pretty sure she was looking at them upside down going the wrong way.

"Are you sure we meant to take that last left?" The enchanted dot continued to move stubbornly forward, and Hermione peered closer at the map again. Draco fondly tamed a strand of hair from her face,

"Can you just let the enchanted map and the enchanted car do their work and relax?" He pleaded,

"Kill joy." She muttered in reply, putting the map down resentfully.

The under ground, or rather under-mountain, rivers were unbelievable. Hermione literally did a double take. How far under ground they were, she had no idea, but they'd been following a trickle of lime-scale-y stream water for ages, down slippery, steep steps with damp walls and an old smell to it; but she was so glad she'd stuck it out. They were stood on a slippery stone ledge, jutting out into the most glittering aqua-marine coloured water, seemingly infinitely deep, and almost alive, the way it ebbed yet with no apparent current. There were eddys, swirls, everywhere a lime-scale-y stream fed into the large pool, as the water stilled it deposited a little sediment, a gentle trail of actual gold dust drifting to the supposed bottom somewhere. Draco was pleased with Hermione's response, it had been tricky getting her down there, but other than that he remembered the wonder he had first felt on entering the caves with his mother- and it was a wonder Hermione now shared. This place had inspired his love of travel, and a deeper love of magic.

Dear Diary,

I am- well I'm not exactly sure where I am. I know it's east, because of some of the Muggle architecture we saw on the way here, and possibly a little south, because it's a darn sight warmer than Bulgaria. Today I went to the Forbidden City, and it was completely unreal. I mean, Muggles can't see it and you can't get a picture of it; but it's so beautiful. I've never seen such a big, elaborate castle, anything so delicate, can't possibly have been built, and yet it was all carved out of the same bit of stone. It has so many flowers too, on every level right up to the roofs, just so many flowers everywhere, draping down, climbing up, you can smell them so strongly in some places you could taste flowers. And butterflies too, they are to this place, what the common blue-bottle fly is to us Brits, but a lot more beautiful obviously. Oh and of course, you can here singing, or music, all kinds from all over, everywhere in the city- it's unbelievably magical. Especially at night, when they light the hovering lanterns, and candles in all the house, and there's a huge fountain that somehow, don't ask me how, glows, shimmers really. I'm in love with this place, it's breathtaking. People don't live here- as such- travelers just come and stay, because there's always an empty building or someone willing to share, and then when they're ready to go they just go. I think, I hope, Draco and I will come back here, I'd love to live here.

Draco lay and watched the stars, contemplating the woman by his side- the magnificent, ever annoying, Hermione. They were sleeping in bags but no tent, watching the sky in all its post-midnight splendor, less than half way up the pilgrimage path of some of the oldest Magi. Safe to say Hermione was not a natural hiker; she had moaned and groaned about all the things on her body that hurt, grumbled and then failed when it came to camp cooking, and she had been nervous about their lack of tent or protection, but Draco was patient. He had tirelessly rebutted all her 'what if we get attacked by a rabid fox?' qualms, and listened with amusement to her childhood camping horror-story where her guide-ropes to her tent had been eaten by a stray donkey. Coaxingly, he had dragged her so far up the hill and he knew it'd be worth it when they'd seen the fountain and the top of the trail. Most tourist magic families never made it all the way to the top, they came here to say they'd 'done' the pilgrimage to the original source of their power (done as cheesy, child's 17th birthday ritual mostly) and walked the tourist part of the track, which stopped about a mile further on from where the couple now lay; only those serious about the pilgrimage did what he and Hermione were doing. He loved the sky out here, it was so clear, no ambient lighting for a long way, hundreds of miles probably, and he vowed to make Hermione stay up long enough to see these stars.

_It is said that if you wait long enough on the path, just before you reach the top of the mountains, just as the sun is rising, you will see the fountain. The water vapour in the air will catch on the sunlight and then you will see it, reflecting in rainbows like prisms, a three tiered fountain, flowing from nowhere into nowhere but suspended above the valley, huge and unreal, one of the greatest, shimmering, wonders of the magic world. If you keep walking you'll meet a plateau at the top of the mountain, and there, it is told, is the source of all the power. You may sit for as long as it takes, try to feel the presence of the source. In the center of the flat, smooth area, which is always cool despite there being no shade, is a large pebble or stone. It is pure white, and rounded perfectly, never weathered or eroded over time and it never moves. Some people say that the Magi found their power by moving the stone and drinking from the fabled brook that is said to bubble underneath it; but no one has ever dared to move the stone since, and probably no one will. People just sit and meditate, or contemplate, or merely wait. _

Hermione had never felt so alive, nor indeed had Draco, as they left that magical, legendary place; it was truly life changing, without being able to give a single solid reason why.

"We've got so many places to go Draco." Hermione breathed in excitement. He teased,

"Are we going to make a list?" With a slight groan in his voice, because he hated Hermione's list making habit.

"Of _course _we are Draco." They paused for a while, "Really though, I think our lives have actually begun, let's never stop this-" She corrected herself, "At least not for a good long while."

"Deal." He whispered back, sharing her excitement and most importantly, her love.

_The End._

_**This was to satisfy any last curiosities, tell you how life goes on after the story, and kind of as a nice ending to just celebrate the fact this story is now officially complete. Thank you to all my supporters, favourites, readers, alerts, reviews everything and everyone who has been involved in making this a success i LOVE you all! :) Hope you have enjoyed it...if you'd like more stories like this please click onto my profile to see what else i have written.**_

**_If you like this i suggest...Run! or Flatmates. For a different ship try 12th Night~Seduction of a Dare. I also write Heartland and Buffy Fanfiction!_**

**_XXX_**


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